Wednesday, July 11, 2007

I remember the day they told me...

....you're going to be a big sister!!

21 years later, my little sister is about to be a mom.

And now I have to ask myself...

Why...

Why do I have to watch my sister do the same things that I did, knowing that she's setting herself up for heartbreak, disappointment, and a broken heart?  Why do I have to watch my sister, who, by all admissions, is near-genius in intellect, belittle herself and lower her standards?  Why do I have to watch my sister, my beautiful, smart, caring, huge-hearted, funny, gorgeous, strong-willed sister throw her life away on people not worth her time?

I want to shake her, to make her see that her life isn't just about her anymore, but about the little girl that she's bringing into the world in just over 2.5 months.  I want to protect her, to help her see that she IS all of the things that I said before, plus a gazillion and one other things on top of those. 

I want her to see how good she has it, how much better it could be, and how much she has going for her.  My mother has bent over backwards for that child, and she doesn't see any of it.

I want to protect my as-yet-unborn niece from the unhappiness that surrounds Amber and Jesse.  

ARGH!!!

And yet, after 21 years, i KNOW that there's nothing that can get through to her stubborn head, that she's the only one that can figure things out, and that nothing in this world will change her mind once it's made up.

Blech.  Being a big sister sucks some times :-)

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