Monday, December 25, 2006

...Family, friends, and folks I don't get to see nearly enough...


In case you forgot, I am the dreamer of dreams and the wisher of wishes. And of course, this is my favorite time of year, the time of year when wishes do come true and everything is tinged with a hint of magic. My three ideals in life—love, peace, and joy—are the foundation of the entire season.

May you and yours find peace and hope, love and laughter during this holiday season, no matter what holiday you choose to celebrate, whether you celebrate a holiday or not. Believe in the magic of Santa. Drink lots of eggnog, kiss a sweetheart under the mistletoe (even if that sweetheart is your 80 year old aunt), and dance around to the songs you know by heart. Call a friend you haven't talked to in a while and wish them a happy holiday. Get your picture taken with Santa—no, you're never too old to do it. Better yet, grab a friend and both of you do it. Read the Polar Express, and always strive to hear the Christmas bells. Play with a dreidel. And if you don't know what I'm talking about, learn. Make a gingerbread house, and know that I will always find the gumdrops that you try to hide from me. Wish for snow. Enjoy the smell of a Christmas tree. Eat too much and be thankful that you have plenty to eat. Start a new tradition and revel in the old ones. Play dirty Santa…and may you get the best number. Help put together the "some assembly required" presents and take the opportunity to create a lasting memory. Make snow angels. Decorate like Tim Allen and don't be afraid to short out the neighborhood. Wear fun holiday socks. Make candy. Go caroling. Take a stroll through Christmas lights with someone special. Visit your family. Remember that hugs and smiles can be one of the best gifts that you can give or receive. Go to a kids' Christmas play. Don't be a Scrooge. Watch the Charlie Brown Christmas movie. Surprise the unexpecting. Give of yourself.

After the stockings are hung and the Night Before Christmas read and the kids are asleep, remind yourself of the true meaning of Christmas. Smile to yourself and know that you are loved and remember those that you love.

This is my wish for you: Comfort on the hard days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the rain, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits are low, beauty in all that surrounds you, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, and love to fill your life.
All the best to you and yours,
Fruitcake

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Merry Christmakwanzakah!

...Family, friends, and folks I don't get to see nearly enough...

In case you forgot, I am the dreamer of dreams and the wisher of wishes.  And of course, this is my favorite time of year, the time of year when wishes do come true and everything is tinged with a hint of magic.  My three ideals in life—love, peace, and joy—are the foundation of the entire season.
May you and yours find peace and hope, love and laughter during this holiday season, no matter what holiday you choose to celebrate, whether you celebrate a holiday or not.  Believe in the magic of Santa.  Drink lots of eggnog, kiss a sweetheart under the mistletoe (even if that sweetheart is your 80 year old aunt), and dance around to the songs you know by heart.  Call a friend you haven't talked to in a while and wish them a happy holiday.  Get your picture taken with Santa—no, you're never too old to do it.  Better yet, grab a friend and both of you do it.  Read the Polar Express, and always strive to hear the Christmas bells.  Play with a dreidel.  And if you don't know what I'm talking about, learn. Make a gingerbread house, and know that I will always find the gumdrops that you try to hide from me.  Wish for snow.  Enjoy the smell of a Christmas tree.  Eat too much and be thankful that you have plenty to eat.  Start a new tradition and revel in the old ones.  Play dirty Santa…and may you get the best number.  Help put together the "some assembly required" presents and take the opportunity to create a lasting memory. Make snow angels.  Decorate like Tim Allen and don't be afraid to short out the neighborhood.  Wear fun holiday socks.  Make candy.  Go caroling.  Take a stroll through Christmas lights with someone special.  Visit your family. Remember that hugs and smiles can be one of the best gifts that you can give or receive.  Go to a kids' Christmas play.  Don't be a Scrooge.  Watch the Charlie Brown Christmas movie. Surprise the unexpecting. Give of yourself.
After the stockings are hung and the Night Before Christmas read and the kids are asleep, remind yourself of the true meaning of Christmas.  Smile to yourself and know that you are loved and remember those that you love.    
This is my wish for you: Comfort on the hard days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the rain, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits are low, beauty in all that surrounds you, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, and love to fill your life.
All the best to you and yours,
Caitlin

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

To my friends and family:

May your turkeys be southern cajun fried, may your sweet potato casseroles be sweet and be topped with many a marshmallow, may your uncles and husbands and dads and cousins fall asleep watching football, may your mashed potatoes have plenty of gravy, may your smiles be many and your worries be few. May the sun shine brightly on you and yours, and may you find peace and happiness in whatever way you may seek it. May you not receive any real fruitcakes this holiday season, but may you know that this fruitcake sends her love your way this Thanksgiving. May black Friday (for those of you crazy enough to brave it) bring you plenty of bargains and lots of great gifts. May those of us who share the post-Turkey-day insanity of decking the halls, may your lights be bright and your holly plentiful. May those of you traveling be blessed with as little stress as possible, and may you ride with the blessing of angels until you reach where you are going.

"There is plenty to think about, but nothing to worry about."

Give thanks this Thanksgiving and give a stranger a hug. You never know when you might change someone else's life. A heartfelt smile can have tremendous effects on a cold heart.

Shout joy, find peace.

Happy Turkey Day!

The Fruitcake

Thursday, November 9, 2006

...so much to say, so little time!

Congrats to everyone who seems to be finding their true love, 'specially my favorite Miami girl!

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

All is well in my world, except the sunflower has a trailer-hitch-sized hole in her bumper.  Ohh, well.  Dingbat that hit my (parked) car is paying for it.  It's just slightly out of shape at the moment.

Monday, August 14, 2006

August 14, 2005 will always go down in my book as the worst day in my life. Because I don't feel like dredging up bad memories, I'm going to let the past stay in the past. But a year later, I look back on my life and realize how truly blessed and lucky I am. Not many can claim to be blessed with the multitude of selfless friends I am fortunate enough to find myself with. To the so many of you who took the time to help me, to be wtih me, to be my unfailing support system when I couldn't support myself--thank you. I would not have managed to make it through the past year without you. I am who I am today because of your kindness and you inability to let me give up.

They say that you cannot truly begin to help yourself until you hit complete rock bottom--August 14, 2005 represent the absolute rock bottom for me. And a slow climb it has been, yet one that has forever changed me and given me a new appreciation for life, kindness, beauty and happiness. When all else was broken, I thank God every day that I was able to keep a mostly sunny disposition and not let the circumstances make me bitter and angry. Each sunrise, each sunset, each small child, each rainstorm, each rainbow--things that may have gone unnoticed before--all are reasons to thank God for the gift of life and the love of family and friends.

I can't count how many times people told me, "What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger." And as sick of hearing it as I became, it is unfailingly true. I find, a year later, that I have become less trusting, less open. Yet I also find that I have more self-confidence, a strength and inner peace that I didn't have before. Strength is born of adversity.

I lost myself.

I found myself.

I am, for the first time in my life, completely at peace with myself. I am happy with me. I now know that someday I will find the deep and meaningful fairy tale romance that I've wanted all of my life. And I refuse to settle for anything less. Yes, I have fun. Yes, I laugh. And yes, someday my prince will come. I don't know what form he will take, and I don't know what his name will be, but someday. Someday.

The bruises have faded, the scars have all but vanished. But my heart will never forget. My heart will never forget what happened that night. I still find myself having to fight not to flinch when a man raises his hand, even if it's to give a high-five. I struggle not to cringe at hugs. But every day is a new day. Every day is another chance at life, another chance to touch someone else's heart. Another chance to say thank you to everyone who has been so amazing over the last year.

I urge anyone who reads this to educate yourself against domestic violence. Know the signs. Be aware. I never thought it would happen to me. You never think that you'll be "that girl." You never think that the person you love can turn against you. But it happens every day, and most women aren't nearly as lucky as I am. Volunteer, donate your time and money to your local domestic violence centers, and know the signs. You may save the life of your sister, friend, mother, classmate, cousin, neighbor. It happens in every walk of life, in every ethnicity, in every economic bracket, in every neighborhood, in every culture. Don't think that it won't happen to you or to someone you love. Ignorance is a death sentence.

Today, I'm not afraid to be who I am. I'm silly, I'm clumsy, I'm goofy, I'm a bookworm, I'm a music nut, I'm a dreamer, I'm a wisher, I'm a little kid at heart, I'm a hopeless romantic, I'm halfway retarded, I'm not always the brightest crayon in the box. But most of all, I'm me, and that's something I'm comfortable with.

This poem was on the back of Mr. Threadgill's door when I was in high school, and it's one of my favorites. Find peace.

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.

Thank You

August 14, 2005 will always go down in my book as the worst day in my life.  Because I don't feel like dredging up bad memories, I'm going to let the past stay in the past.  But a year later, I look back on my life and realize how truly blessed and lucky I am.  Not many can claim to be blessed with the multitude of selfless friends I am fortunate enough to find myself with.  To the so many of you who took the time to help me, to be wtih me, to be my unfailing support system when I couldn't support myself--thank you.  I would not have managed to make it through the past year without you.  I am who I am today because of your kindness and you inability to let me give up.
They say that you cannot truly begin to help yourself until you hit complete rock bottom--August 14, 2005 represent the absolute rock bottom for me.  And a slow climb it has been, yet one that has forever changed me and given me a new appreciation for life, kindness, beauty and happiness.  When all else was broken, I thank God every day that I was able to keep a mostly sunny disposition and not let the circumstances make me bitter and angry.  Each sunrise, each sunset, each small child, each rainstorm, each rainbow--things that may have gone unnoticed before--all are reasons to thank God for the gift of life and the love of family and friends.
I can't count how many times people told me, "What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger."  And as sick of hearing it as I became, it is unfailingly true.  I find, a year later, that I have become less trusting, less open.  Yet I also find that I have more self-confidence, a strength and inner peace that I didn't have before.  Strength is born of adversity.
I lost myself. 
I found myself.
I am, for the first time in my life, completely at peace with myself.  I am happy with me.  I now know that someday I will find the deep and meaningful fairy tale romance that I've wanted all of my life.  And I refuse to settle for anything less.  Yes, I have fun.  Yes, I laugh.  And yes, someday my prince will come.  I don't know what form he will take, and I don't know what his name will be, but someday.  Someday. 
The bruises have faded, the scars have all but vanished.  But my heart will never forget.  My heart will never forget what happened that night.  I still find myself having to fight not to flinch when a man raises his hand, even if it's to give a high-five.  I struggle not to cringe at hugs.  But every day is a new day. Every day is another chance at life, another chance to touch someone else's heart.  Another chance to say thank you to everyone who has been so amazing over the last year.
I urge anyone who reads this to educate yourself against domestic violence.  Know the signs. Be aware.  I never thought it would happen to me.  You never think that you'll be "that girl."  You never think that the person you love can turn against you.  But it happens every day, and most women aren't nearly as lucky as I am.  Volunteer, donate your time and money to your local domestic violence centers, and know the signs.  You may save the life of your sister, friend, mother, classmate, cousin, neighbor.  It happens in every walk of life, in every ethnicity, in every economic bracket, in every neighborhood, in every culture.  Don't think that it won't happen to you or to someone you love.  Ignorance is a death sentence.
Today, I'm not afraid to be who I am.  I'm silly, I'm clumsy, I'm goofy, I'm a bookworm, I'm a music nut, I'm a dreamer, I'm a wisher, I'm a little kid at heart, I'm a hopeless romantic, I'm halfway retarded, I'm not always the brightest crayon in the box.  But most of all, I'm me, and that's something I'm comfortable with. 
This poem was on the back of Mr. Threadgill's door when I was in high school, and it's one of my favorites.  Find peace.
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

now I know you're not
the only starfish in the sea.
If I never hear your name again
it's all the same to me.

And I think it's gonna be all right.
Yeah, the worst is over,
Now the morning sun is shining like a Red Rubber Ball.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Thank you, Sars.
If you have reached the age of 25, I have a bit of bad news for you, to wit: it is time, if you have not already done so, for you to emerge from your cocoon of post-adolescent dithering and self-absorption and join the rest of us in the world. Past the quarter-century mark, you see, certain actions, attitudes, and behaviors will simply no longer do, and while it might seem unpleasant to feign a maturity and solicitousness towards others that you may not genuinely feel, it is not only appreciated by others but necessary for your continued survival. Continuing to insist past that point that good manners, thoughtfulness, and grooming oppress you in some way is inappropriate and irritating.
Grow up.
And when I instruct you to grow up, I do not mean that you must read up on mortgage rates, put aside candy necklaces, or desist from substituting the word "poo" for crucial syllables of movie titles. Silliness is not only still permitted but actively encouraged. You must, however, stop viewing carelessness, tardiness, helplessness, or any other quality better suited to a child as either charming or somehow beyond your control. A certain grace period for the development of basic consideration and self-sufficiency is assumed, but once you have turned 25, the grace period is over, and starring in a film in your head in which you walk the earth alone is no longer considered a valid lifestyle choice, but rather grounds for exclusion from social occasions.
And now, for those of you who might have misplaced them, marching orders for everyone born before 1981.
1. Remember to write thank-you notes. If you do not know when a thank-you note is appropriate, consult an etiquette book -- the older and more hidebound the book, the better. When in doubt, write one anyway; better to err on the side of formality. An email is not sufficient thanks for a physical gift. Purchase stationery and stamps, set aside five minutes, and express your gratitude in writing. Failure to do so implies that you don't care. This implication is a memorable one. Enough said.
2. Do not invite yourself to stay with friends when you travel anymore. Presumably you have a job, and the means to procure yourself a hotel. If so, do so. If not, stay home. Mentioning that you plan a visit to another city may lead to an invitation to stay with a friend or family member, which you may of course accept; assuming that "it's cool if you crash" is not. Wait for the invitation; if it is not forthcoming, this is what we call "a hint," and you should take it and make other arrangements.
3. Do not expect friends to help you move anymore. You may ask for help; you may not expect it, particularly if your move date is on a weekday. Your friends have jobs to go to, and you have accumulated a lot of heavy books by this point in your life. Hire a mover. If you cannot afford a mover, sell your books or put them in storage -- or don't move, but one way or another, you will have to cope.
4. Develop a physical awareness of your surroundings. As children, we live in our own heads, bonking into things, gnawing on twigs, emitting random squawks because we don't know how to talk yet. Then, we enter nursery school. You, having graduated college or reached a similar age to that of the college graduate, need to learn to sense others and get out of their way. Walk single file. Don't blather loudly in public spaces. Give up your seat to those with disabilities or who are struggling with small children. Take your headphones off while interacting with clerks and passersby. Do not walk along and then stop suddenly. It is not just you on the street; account for that fact.
5. Be on time. The occasional public-transit snafu is forgivable, but consistent lateness is rude, annoying, and self-centered. If we didn't care when you showed up, we'd have said "any old time"; if we said seven, get there at seven or within fifteen minutes. Do not ditz that you "lost track of time" as though time somehow slipped its leash and ran into traffic. It shows a basic lack of respect for others; flakiness is not cute anymore, primarily because it never was. Buy a watch, wind it up, and wear it everywhere you go.
6. Have enough money. I do not mean "give up your scholarly dreams and join the world of corporate finance in order to keep up with the Joneses." I mean that you should not become that girl or boy who is always a few dollars short, can only cover exactly his or her meal but no tip, or "forgot" to go to the ATM. Go to the ATM first, don't order things you can't afford, and…
7. Know how to calculate the tip. Ten percent of the total; double it; done. You did not have to major in math to know how this works. You are not dumb, but your Barbie-math-is-hard flailing is agonizing and has outstayed its welcome. Ten percent times two. Learn it.
8. Do not share the crazy dream you had last night with anyone but your mental wellness professional. Nobody cares. People who starred in the dream may care, but confine your synopsis to ten words or fewer.
9. Learn to walk in heels. Gentlemen, you are at your leisure. Ladies: If you wear heels, know how to operate them. Clomping along and placing your foot down flat with each step gives the appearance of a ten-year-old playing dress-up, but a pair of heels is like a bicycle -- you need momentum to stay up. Come down on the heel and carry forward through the toe, using your regular stride. If you feel wobbly, keep practicing, or get a pair that's better suited to your style of walking. It isn't a once-a-year prom thing anymore for a lot of you, so please learn to walk in them.
10. Have at least one good dress-up outfit. A dress code, or suggested attire on an invitation, is not an instrument of The Man. Own one nice dress, or one reasonable suit, or one sharp pair of pants and chic sweater -- something you can clean up nice in for a wedding or a semi-formal dinner. You don't have to like it, but if the invitation requests it, put it on. Every night can't be poker night. Which reminds me…
11. Do as invitations ask you. Don't bring a guest when no such courtesy is extended. Don't blow off an RSVP; it means "please respond," and you should. "Regrets only" means you only answer if you can't come. If the party starts at eight, show up at eight -- not at seven-thirty so you can go a "better" party later, not at eleven when dinner is cold. Eight. Cocktail parties allow for leeway, of course, but pay attention and read instructions; your host furnished the details for a reason.
12. Know how. Know how to drive. Know how to read a map. Know how to get around. Know how to change a tire, or whom to call if you can't manage it, or how to get to a phone if you don't have a cell phone. We will happily bail you out, until it becomes apparent that it's what you always need. The possibility of a fingernail breaking or a hairstyle becoming compromised is not grounds for purposeful helplessness.
13. Don't use your friends. It's soulless. It's also obvious. If the only reason you continue to associate with a person is to borrow his or her car, might I remind you that you have now turned 25 and may rent your own.
14. Have something to talk about besides college or your job. College is over. The war stories have their amusements, but not over and over and not at every gathering. Get a library card, go to the movies, participate in the world. Working is not living. Be interested so that you can be interesting.
15. Give and receive favors graciously. If you have agreed to do a favor, you may not 1) remind the favoree ceaselessly about how great a pain it is for you, or 2) half-ass it because the favoree "owes you." It is a favor; it is not required, and if you cannot do it, say so. If you can do it, pretend that nobody is watching, do it as best you can, and let that be the end of it. Conversely, if you ask for a favor and the askee cannot do it, do not get snappish. You can manage.
16. Drinking until you throw up is no longer properly a point of pride. It happens to the best of us, but be properly ashamed the next day; work on your tolerance, or eat something first, but amateur hour ended several years hence.
17. Have a real trash receptacle, real Kleenex, and, if you smoke, a real ashtray. No loose bags on the floor; no using a roll of toilet paper; no plates or empty soda cans. You are not a fierce warrior nomad of the Fratty Bubelatty tribe. Buy a wastebasket and grown-up paper products.
18. Universal quiet hours do in fact apply to you. They are, generally, as follows -- midnight to six AM on weekdays, 2 AM to 8 AM on weekends. Mine is a fairly generous interpretation, by the by, so bass practice should conclude, not start, at ten PM. Understand also that just because nobody has complained directly to you does not mean that a complaint is not justified, or pending. Further, get your speakers off the floor. Yes, "now." Yes, a rug is still "the floor."
19. Take care of yourself. If you are sick, visit a doctor. If you are sad, visit a shrink or talk to a friend. If you are unhappy in love, break up. If you are fed up with how you look, buy a new shirt or stop eating cheese. If you have a problem, try to fix it. Many problems are knotty and need a lot of talking through, or time to resolve, but after a few months of all complaining and no fixing, those around you will begin to wonder if you don't enjoy the problems for the attention they bring you. Venting is fine; inertia coupled with pouting is not. Bored? Read a magazine. Mad at someone? Say so -- to them. Change is hard; that's too bad. Effort counts. Make one. Your mommy's shift is over.
20. Rudeness is not a signifier of your importance. Rudeness is a signifier of itself, nothing more. We all have bad days; yours is not weightier than anyone else's, comparatively, and does not excuse displays of poor breeding. Be civil or be elsewhere.

Friday, July 7, 2006

as i was home sick yesterdy, i had far too much time to watch t.v.
most of it was completely ick, but one thing caught my attention.  on oprah, she had shelia kelley, author of the "S Factor" book and video series and instructor of the S Factor classes.  If anyone knows of a class of similar ideas, I would LOVE to take it (if you're not familiar, it's dancing and pole dancing as a workout...right up my alley, right?)  But seriously, it's a fabulous way to get in shape and work out...but...do I have to just go ahead and buy the videos?  Or is there somewhere around here that teaches....pole dancing?

Monday, June 26, 2006

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it crates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Thursday, June 1, 2006

It's been a while.
I started a new job on 5/22...one that I absolutely adore.   is tiny now, but look for it in the next few years to take off.  I love working with start-up companies, and I couldn't have asked for a better place to work.  Not to mention a heck of lot more in pay and benefits and other perks
And last weekend--great times, great times.  Except for the rope swing incident (see my myspace for the details on THAT one), all was fantastic.
But I'm on my soapbox again, and it's an issue that keeps coming back around, but one in which i CANNOT begin to understand.
I understand that we live in south Alabama, which puts us in the heart of the Bible belt.  I get it.  I understand that this area of the country is chock-full of conservative republicans--got that, too.  But what I fail to understand is how ANYONE can blur the lines between church and state the way it's been done here.  Take Roy Moore, for example.  His ENTIRE platform for governor is the idea of Christian values and idealogy. The idea of the "Christian" views on marriage, abortion, and other hot button issues.  yeah, more power to you, Mr. Moore.  But what if half the state were Buddhist?  Muslim?  Jewish?  Agnostic?  Educated? 
I do not understand how politicians--especially today--can so blatantly ignore the Constitution of the United States, which clearly states that that the Constitution delegates no power to government over religious affairs, and that the First Amendment explicitly prohibits the government from establishing or controlling religion. The effect of this arrangement is to leave Americans free to worship, believe, and support religion as they see fit. Additionally, we believe that separation deprives government of its ability to coerce adherence to religion, or to compel the support of religion against an individual's will.
FREE TO WORSHIP AS THEY SEE FIT.  I understand that there are wide arrays of beliefs, even beliefs within beliefs, but to impose YOUR beliefs on other is against the very foundation of the US Constitution. Why does no one say anything or call this to light?  Why are we so accepting of political commercials advertising "conservative Christian values"?  "Christian" has no place in a political campaign! Nor does any other religion!  Education, criminal record, contribution to society--fine.  Religion?  No place for it.
Welcome to the dark ages.

Thursday, May 4, 2006

if anyone needs a full time office job (M-F, 8:30-5:30) in Fairhope, let me know.   Laid back atmosphere, fairly easy, decent pay, benefits, etc.  I need to know ASAP!

Wednesday, May 3, 2006

I GOT THE JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A REAL ONE, not a crappy desk job that was a filler after graduation.  One that (semi) uses my degree, 4 years of legal experience, and a year of real estate experience.  Plus my salary is dramatically increased, full health and dental benefits.

I start May 22...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

I GOT THE JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A REAL ONE, not a crappy desk job that was a filler after graduation.  One that (semi) uses my degree, 4 years of legal experience, and a year of real estate experience.  Plus my salary is dramatically increased, full health and dental benefits.

I start May 22...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Monday, April 24, 2006

So I'm working on it, but so far, this is the Soundtrack to my Life as I see it.  With, of course, a little help from my friends.
(this is in no particular order)
1.  In the Middle--Jimmy Eat WorldColleen, Mike and I used to spend hours upon hours freshman year at SHC downloading music and then jamming out in my room. This song is just a representative of ALL of the songs that we listened to.
2.  I Will Remember You--Sarah McLaughlin.  For a number of reasons, really.  But this song was the graduation song at CKS  not to mention the song used to every sappy event........ever.
3. Anything as sung by Stephen Lynch.  Specifically, the "Big Fat Friend" song.  Gawd, we sat around watching that damn DVD as if our life depended on it.  Good times in Apt 309.
4.  Cadillac--Mest.   Because I can see Vix and Susan..."top down, seat back, rolling in my cadillac..."
5.  New Age Girl- Dead Eye Dick.  Mal and I were pretty infamous for rocking out to this song, but I don't many people who don't sing along with it. ("she don't eat meat, but she sure like the bone...")
6.  Red Rubber Ball- Simon and Garfunkel.  This was the "feel better song" of Mobile Hall, particularly when it came to me, Susan and Vix.  And really, who can't help but smile when singing, "...the morning sun is shining like a red rubber ballllllllllllllllllll..."
7.  Head Over Feet--Alanis.  This was always mine and CMN's song, but it also represents just about every high school dance, middle school dance, etc.  This was the one song everyone loved.
8.  Nothing Else Matters--Metallica.  My I'm-depressed-as-shit song.
9.  Shot Through The Heart--Bon Jovi.  Me and........just about everyone has rocked out to this song.  It's just one that life wouldn't be the same without
10.  500 Miles--The Pretenders.  Becuase anyone who has seen Benny and Joon would agree that this is a great song.
11.  I Want You to Want Me--Cheap Trick.  Mine and Mark's song.  Even after college, we still call each other when we hear it on the radio, or when I get drunk and stupid and decide to kareoke it.
12.  Get Low--Lil John.  Because who can forget the lyrics that made the rounds at SHC--"From the window, to the kitchen, put some hot sauce on my chicken, mmmm that's finger-lickin'..."
13.  Fruitcakes--Jimmy Buffet.  For very obvious reasons.  I heart this song.
14.  (Everybody's Free to) Wear Sunscreen- Baz Lurhman.  Because this song is full of all of the little tidbits of advice that i love to spout at people. And seriously.....WEAR SUNSCREEN!
15.  Lightning Crashes--Live.  Live in general reminds me of Bayfest.  And I love this song.
16.  Bloody Sunday- U2.  Anyone who went through seminar with me understands this one.  And my fascination with Irish lit, music, etc.
17.  Dancing Queen--ABBA.  Because I am one.
18.  Purple People Eater. Ha.  Vix, just for you.
19.  Hakuna Matata.  This is my life's motto.
This is a rough list--feel free to message me more!

Sunday, April 23, 2006

So I'm working on it, but so far, this is the Soundtrack to my Life as I see it.  With, of course, a little help from my friends.
(this is in no particular order)
1.  In the Middle--Jimmy Eat WorldColleen, Mike and I used to spend hours upon hours freshman year at SHC downloading music and then jamming out in my room. This song is just a representative of ALL of the songs that we listened to.
2.  I Will Remember You--Sarah McLaughlin.  For a number of reasons, really.  But this song was the graduation song at CKS  not to mention the song used to every sappy event........ever.
3. Anything as sung by Stephen Lynch.  Specifically, the "Big Fat Friend" song.  Gawd, we sat around watching that damn DVD as if our life depended on it.  Good times in Apt 309.
4.  Cadillac--Mest.   Because I can see Vix and Susan..."top down, seat back, rolling in my cadillac..."
5.  New Age Girl- Dead Eye Dick.  Mal and I were pretty infamous for rocking out to this song, but I don't many people who don't sing along with it. ("she don't eat meat, but she sure like the bone...")
6.  Red Rubber Ball- Simon and Garfunkel.  This was the "feel better song" of Mobile Hall, particularly when it came to me, Susan and Vix.  And really, who can't help but smile when singing, "...the morning sun is shining like a red rubber ballllllllllllllllllll..."
7.  Head Over Feet--Alanis.  This was always mine and CMN's song, but it also represents just about every high school dance, middle school dance, etc.  This was the one song everyone loved.
8.  Nothing Else Matters--Metallica.  My I'm-depressed-as-shit song.
9.  Shot Through The Heart--Bon Jovi.  Me and........just about everyone has rocked out to this song.  It's just one that life wouldn't be the same without
10.  500 Miles--The Pretenders.  Becuase anyone who has seen Benny and Joon would agree that this is a great song.
11.  I Want You to Want Me--Cheap Trick.  Mine and Mark's song.  Even after college, we still call each other when we hear it on the radio, or when I get drunk and stupid and decide to kareoke it.
12.  Get Low--Lil John.  Because who can forget the lyrics that made the rounds at SHC--"From the window, to the kitchen, put some hot sauce on my chicken, mmmm that's finger-lickin'..."
13.  Fruitcakes--Jimmy Buffet.  For very obvious reasons.  I heart this song.
14.  (Everybody's Free to) Wear Sunscreen- Baz Lurhman.  Because this song is full of all of the little tidbits of advice that i love to spout at people. And seriously.....WEAR SUNSCREEN!
15.  Lightning Crashes--Live.  Live in general reminds me of Bayfest.  And I love this song.
16.  Bloody Sunday- U2.  Anyone who went through seminar with me understands this one.  And my fascination with Irish lit, music, etc.
17.  Dancing Queen--ABBA.  Because I am one.
18.  Purple People Eater. Ha.  Vix, just for you.
19.  Hakuna Matata.  This is my life's motto.
This is a rough list--feel free to message me more!

Thursday, April 20, 2006

everyone has songs that remind them of certain events and certain people. i started to make a list in my head of all of the songs that reminded me of other people, but the list is endless.

so here's your job. if a certain song reminds you of me and you, whether it was from us riding around, dancing to it, singing it, or whatever, message me the name of the song and why it reminds me of you. or you of me.  or whatever.

i'll compile the list in the coming days.

thanks for helping!

~the fruitcake

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

i've been keeping up with the drama that seems to invade SHC this time of year.  and all i can keep thinking to myself is that history repeats itself.  this tme last year, one of  my roommates had moved out, i was hardly ever there, when i was i was hardly on speaking terms with a third roommate,  and the last roommate and i just kind of shrugged and said, "eh." 
and now, a year after graduation, it saddens me.  2 of those girls were 2 of my absolute closest friends.  and now i never talk to them, i have no idea what's going on in their lives.  i regret it.  and if i could somehow convey the message to the people who know who they are, i wish, with all of my heart, that they can at least reconcile their differences.  not only are you friends, you're also sisters.  and in the end, that tie is hard to break. 
think back over the last 4 years at SHC, and i can guarantee that some of your best memories have each other in them.  some of the most random, some of the most hilarious adventurous things i got myself into were with alisha, nicole, anna and tereasa. 
history repeats itself.  but don't go down the same road we did.  you've got less than 30 days before you leave the Hill.  make the best of it.  make things right again.

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

be my inspiration

Discussion for Tuesday:
Men are more visual than women.
A girl melts when a guy writes a heartfelt love letter or creates an inspired masterpiece.
A guy becomes putty with a seductive glance and flutter of the lashes and a visual of slow gyrating hips set to the background of a tribal beat. 
First of all, I have to issue a disclaimer.  I don't necessarily agree, nor do I feel that this encompasses all men or all women.  As with all facets of life, everyone is different.
Now. 
It's saddens me to read this statement.  Why?  Because it's what our culture of men and women have been conditioned to think.  It's okay for men to quit thinking when presented with erotic imagery and seduction.  And it's ok for a woman to fall head over heels because of a love letter. But presented with the flip side—a woman presented with erotic imagery and a man receiving a heartfelt love letter—people don't want to hear about it, don't want to talk about it.  It's okay for a woman to be romantic, for a woman to dream of weddings and children and be a muse for a creative genius.  But for a woman to be openly sensual, to like eroticism, to simply feel and move her body…she's branded as an anomaly.  She's slutty, whorish, etc, etc.  And for a man to be openly romantic, to write the heartfelt letters or love getting them from his partner, for a man to be the creative inspiration—he must be gay, right?
The Puritanical views that we've tried so hard to shake in so many aspects—sexuality and relationships are still ones that we've not overcome.  To be creative, to feel and breathe and accept others for who they are, to appreciate art in all of its forms, to write, to dance, to sing, to play, to be truly free to be what's comfortable—why is it so hard?  Why do we have such a hard time shaking off the shackles of what's "right" in the eyes of society?  We stereotype men and women who don't conform to the norm, who push past the boundaries of what is "acceptable behavior."
Why is it that we haven't found a balance?  That we haven't found a way for men and women to live their lives without being stereotyped?
And personally, if you're a man reading this who has a poet's soul and a lust for life, we need to talk  :-)