The words we live by

So many people have asked us where we got the script for our wedding ceremony, and I love telling people that we wrote the majority of it ourselves.  We've had several people ask us if we can use all or part of it for their own ceremony, and I could think of no higher compliment.  All I ask is that if you do use it or someone you know uses it, just let me know!

On behalf of the Fruitcakes, I would like to welcome you and thank you for sharing this very special day with them. Your presence here is a visible expression of your love and respect for their decision to be joined in marriage.

Mr. and Mrs. Fruitcake, today you are surrounded by your family and friends as they gather to witness your marriage and share in the joy of this happy occasion.

Life is a story. It has a beginning, a middle, and an end. And, like a story, it is best experienced with the people you love. Everyone is here because they’re a part of Mr. and Mrs. Fruitcake’s story. Some of you are participating by the hours of preparation, some of you will be adding your voices to the ceremony, and some more will be participating by laughing and crying along with us. Also, I’m told there’s a kiss at the end.

First, a blessing.

Blessing (as read by Mr. Fruitcake's best friend, The Reverend)

God gifts us with more blessings than we can ever understand.

It is one of the grand ironies of being human: Such big brains, and so little comprehension of the gift of every moment.

But sometimes God  makes it very easy for us. Sometimes we have experiences that transcend the circumstances of our daily lives and help us feel the gift of existence itself.

... like when the sun sets so beautifully that the world starts and ends in that moment.

... like when we glimpse into a babies eyes and are reminded of a truth we always knew.

... like when a dormant branch buds its perfect green leaves – teaching us its eternal cycle of spring renewal.

... or like when two beautiful, loving souls find one another, let their love blossom, and form a union of their lives.

This love is a gift from God. It is a gift to the universe.

The universe itself is made warmer and more loving by the path they walk together.

We are all blessed to be here, but the gift of this love doesn’t end at these walls or in the memories of the people here.

Like that perfect sunset casting brilliant color across the horizon, their loving union casts love across all our lives – reminding us of what this journey is all about.

We thank God for the opportunity to be here today to witness the union of Caitlin and Jason. May your love forever shine.

Officiant Continues:

Albert Einstein said: “Strange is our situation here upon Earth. Each of us comes for a short visit, not knowing why, yet sometimes seeming to a divine purpose. However, there is one thing that we do know, that we are here for the sake of others. Above all, for those upon whose smile and well-being our own happiness depends, and also for the countless unknown souls with whose fate we are connected by a bond of sympathy.”

And now, a reading from the bride’s best friend, Miss Ladybug

When I heard that Mr. and Mrs. Fruitcake were to be married, my first thought was, “I have to buy a new dress!”

Bringing a new dress into your life is not something to be taken lightly. There are a lot of things to consider, and you need to be very careful and thoughtful about your choice. Sure, you can see something in the window, draped ever so flatteringly on a mannequin, and think to yourself, “that is SO me.” Then you try it on for size, take it for a test drive, look in the mirror and realize, nope, this is so NOT me.

So you move on. There are racks and racks of dresses out there, friends. So many choices you can get dizzy or frustrated or depressed when you keep trying them on and they just don’t quite work. The fit is a little off, the color doesn’t compliment your eyes, stripes are out, too many or too few buttons on the jacket ... and that one make your butt look huge.

Huge.

Sometimes you wear something just because it’s convenient. You know it’s not exactly right, but you wear it anyway. And all the while you feel just a little uncomfortable, just the slightest bit ... wrong.

But every once in a while, and very rarely, you find something that is perfect. Once in a great while, it all comes together. It all falls into place. It all works.

All it takes is a little luck, like finding yourself in the right place, at the right time, having the patience to wait for the right one, and never losing hope that somewhere, out there, is the perfect dress for you.

Officiant Continues:

Marriage. It ranks right up there with birth and death as one of the three biggies in life. But it’s the only one that we’ll celebrate with a conscious awareness. Very few of you remember your arrival, and even fewer of you will attend your own funeral. Pick a society, any society: Jewish farmers 100 years ago in Poland, English émigrés to Canada, San Franciscan hipsters ... What’s the one thing they all have in common? Marriage. It’s like a cultural handrail. It links us to the past, and guides us to the future.

In Address to the Guests
I: As these two people are joined, so are their families and friends united through them. Mr. and Mrs. Fruitcake have chosen you, their friends and loved ones, to be here on this day as witnesses to their marriage. It has been their decision to bind themselves by marriage, and their lives will be strengthened and enriched by the support you give.

I: Friends, will you support Mr. and Mrs. Fruitcake in their marriage?
Friends: I will.

I: Will you celebrate with them, encourage them, remind them (as needed) of this day and the vows they will soon speak?
Friends: I will.

I: Family members, will you support Mr. and Mrs. Fruitcake in their marriage?
Family: I will.

I: Will you accept Mr. and Mrs. Fruitcake into your families, as one of your own?
Family: I will.

I: All of you, will you celebrate their marriage, standing beside them in rough times, yet never standing between them?
All: I will.

Always stand beside them, never between them. Offer them your love and your support
Not your judgment. Encourage them when encouragement is needed. And listen to them when they ask for advice. In these ways, you can honor this marriage into which they have come to be joined today

Officiate Continues:

Marriage is the union of disparate elements: male and female, yin and yang, proton and electron. What we’re talking about here is the very tension that binds the universe. When we look at marriage, we’re looking at creation itself.

You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes, to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making commitments in an informal way. All of those conversations that were held in a car, or over a meal, or during long walks – all those conversations that began with, “When we’re married”, and continued with “I will” and “you will” and “we will” – all those late night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe” – and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding.

The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, “You know all those things that we’ve promised, and hoped, and dreamed – well, I meant it all, every word.”Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another – acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, even teacher, for you have learned much from one another these past few years. Shortly you shall say a few words that will take you across a threshold of life, and things between you will never quite be the same.

For after today you shall say to the world –
This is my husband. This is my wife. 

 

Officiate Continues:

The vows a bride and groom recite are a reflection of the people they are, and the love they share.

Mr. and Mrs. Fruitcake, repeat after me:

I will be honest, I will be loyal, I will be yours, I will be faithful, I will support you, I will lean on you, I will believe in you, I will believe in us, I will be your proud spouse. I will share my people, my life, my love, my pain, my brain, and my heart. I will look forward with you — not back — and I will choose you every day of my life. Together with our God, I ask for help to do and be the best that I can, for you, for us, for our new family.

Officiant Continues:

This is the point in the ceremony when I usually talk about the wedding bands being a perfect circle, having no beginning and no end. But we all know that these rings do have a beginning. Rock is dug up from the earth. Metal is liquefied in a furnace at a thousand degrees. Hot metal is poured into a mold, cooled, and then painstakingly polished. Something beautiful is made from raw elements.

Love is like that. It’s hot, dirty work. It comes from humble beginnings, made by imperfect beings. It’s the process of making something beautiful where there was once nothing at all.

With that in mind, may I have the rings?.

Mr. Fruitcake, place the ring on Mrs. Fruitcake’s finger and repeat after me:

Mrs. Fruitcake,  I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you, in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit 

Mrs. Fruitcake, place the ring on Mr. Fruitcake’s finger and repeat after me:

Mr. Fruitcake, I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you, in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit

Those whom God has joined together let no one put asunder.

“I am the sky,” says the Hindu bridegroom to the bride. “You are the earth. We are sky and earth united. You are my husband. You are my wife. My feet shall run because of you. My feet shall dance because of you. My heart shall beat because of you. My eyes see because of you. My mind think because of you. And I shall love because of you.”

May the road rise to meet you
May the wind be always at your back
May the warm rays of sun fall upon your home
and may the hand of a friend always be near

May God be with you and bless you;
May you see your children's children.
May you be poor in misfortune,
Rich in blessings.

May you know nothing but happiness
From this day forward.

Mr. and Mrs. Fruitcake, by the authority vested in me by the State of Alabama, it is my pleasure to pronounce you, before God and all of these witnesses here today, husband and wife.

Mr. Fruitcake, you may now kiss your bride.

Families and friends, it is with great pleasure I introduce you to Mr. and Mrs. Fruitcake.