Closing a chapter

Tuesday, May 15th, marks the final closing of a chapter in my life that I've been waiting, and waiting, and waiting to happen.  Adam is finally going to trial. I met with the district attorney last week, and the justice system is finally working. It's been a long time coming and a long healing process, but this marks the final closure.  Once the trial is over, I can officially close this chapter of my life and move forward.  Yes, for those who have asked, I am testifying.  After a lot of thought and a lot of soul-searching, it is what I have to do.  I can only imagine the face of a daughter or a sister or a friend and imagining them going through what I went through. It may not protect many, but knowing that I could have protectd one person is enough of a call.

Thank you, thank you, thank you to those of you who have been absolutely amazing friends over the last year and a half.  I could not have made it without you. You have been my rocks, my hope, and my lifeline.  I love you guys :-)

This is a chapter I'm all too happy to leave behind, and I'm ready to move forward with my life without having to keep looking backwards.  A new beginning, a new day, a new chapter in my life.

"Ain't nothing gonna break-a my stride, nobody gonna slow me down!"

ETA:
In the 15 mins or so since I posted this, I've gotten several messages from people who don't know what's going on or what happened.  No, it wasn't rape.  Blessed be, I don't have the emotional scars from that.  Domestic violence is another demon entirely, one that I never saw coming.  I encourage you to read my post from the one year anniversary here if you really want to know more.

the big cheese

the big cheese

I have found the secret to success.

Okay, so it won't win you fortune and fame, and it won't help you get that cute guy's phone number, but in the grand scheme of things, it makes life that much fuller, that much richer, and that much more worth living.

Be friends with your parents.

Not such a novel idea, I know.  But it astounded me how many people were amazed that my dad is my favorite party buddy.  I spent the weekend rockin' Memphis with him, and I have more fun hanging out in bars and checking out whatever bands we can find than I would with anyone else. Jager shots, Blue Moon, Bud Light, Patron, some strange concoction that tasted slightly like a green Jolly Rancher, Taj Mahal, the Allman Brothers, North Mississippi Allstars, a whole lot of corn dogs, rain up to your eyeballs, losing the car, the Counting Crows, Barenaked Ladies, Guster, dancing til your feet hurt, and then dancing some more....sounds like a fantastic weekend.  And it was. 

And the best part was creating memories with my dad that I'll cherish for the rest of my life.

I guess it's safe to say that we're two peas in a pod in a lot of ways--music is music and makes the world a better place.  There's nothing like an outdoor festival, sunshine and summertime.  Neither of us can stand to live away from the water, and both of us would be happy with a bunch of oysters, crackers and cocktail sauce.  Blue Moon is our beer of choice.  Auburn is our team, and we'll cheer for Ole Miss only if they're not playing the orange and blue.  Rock and the blues is our genres of choice.  We really don't care what people think about us, and have a penchant for acting like retards just to irritate someone else...you know who you are if you've been targeted by said treatment :-)

I consider myself extremely blessed to be able to consider my dad both my father and my friend.  I know I can count on him, more so than just about anyone else in my life, and I also know that where daddy is, a good time isn't too far behind.

Random Observations

Random observations as observed by yours truly in the last 72 hours:

1.  Rollling down what seemed like a perfectly innocent grassy hill on Saturday night will result in oddly shaped bruises come Monday morning.

2.  The Krystals on Dauphin Street is only closed between 4:30 and 5 am, during which time they will not give you a sackful of Krystal burgers, no matter how nice you try to be.

3.  I do not have a "quiet" button.

4.  Rain creates puddles. Through which I will inevitably have to walk/drag my dress through.

5.  Shoemaker and Ferry are the best dance partners ever.  Especially when Shoe and I use tango arms like bowling balls and knock people out of the way.  Thanks.

6.  My friends do not understand the concept of "Caitlin has other plans that do not include us" and will repeatedly call...all night long...with increasing frequency...demanding (drunkenly) to know why I am not at {insert location here}. 

7.  I love my friends.  And I am consciously trying to make an effort to see them more often, especially the Mobile folks. 

8.  Lindsey Abeln is dangerous with a camera.

9.  The phrase, "Who is that blonde chick?" was in reference to me.  Apparently.

10.  Cassie has issues with stairs.  Someone should keep this in mind come her wedding day.

11.  Some things never change. 

12.  Some things change so much that you have to wonder what happened.

13.  The squirrel patrol are still assholes.

14.  Chinese food is an excellent cure for a hangover.

15.  So is Waffle House.

16.  Wardrobe malfunctions have the tendency to be hilarious. 

17.  "Bad Touch" by the Bloodhound Gang makes people go nuts. 

18.  Cheesy poofs are buy one, get one free at the Bruno's on Old Shell.

19. Never get a man to do what you cna do for yourself.  Like fix a broken limo.

20.  ...dance like no one is watching...especially on random pieces of furniture.

Beware the Ides of March

Life is fleeting. You never know when someone you love may be taken from you and when you may never be able to again say "I love you."  You never know when life can be taken from you and you'll never again be able to hug someone, to wish them a happy birthday, to look them in the eye and tell them that you're proud of them, to celebrate a holiday, to play football, to ride horses, to take the kids out on four-wheelers on Thanksgiving.

My cousin Cody was 21 years old.  He was killed last night in Pensacola when his car flipped on Hwy 29 in Cantonment. 

Eggs in a basket

One of my favorite movie references of all time involves eggs. 

More specifically, how a person likes his or her eggs cooked.

I had a friend in college.  I loved her dearly (and still do), but it used to drive me batty to watch her and the men that she would date.  If he liked working out, she became a gym freak.  If he liked cars, suddenly she could rattle off statistics about the hottest racers on the market.  If he liked to cook, she was suddenly absorbed in the Cooking Channel. 

I knew that she hated to cook.

But because the man of the hour loved to piddle around the kitchen, she tried (in vain, I might add)  to match up to what she believed that he wanted in a partner.

They broke up after four months.

My friend didn't know how she liked her eggs cooked.  If he liked scrambled, she wanted scrambled.  If he liked over easy, she was an over easy kind of girl.  And if he preferred his in a basket, well…you know the rest.

 
She didn't even like eggs to begin with.  But he never knew that, because she was trying so hard to impress and be the person that she thought he wanted that she missed the point altogether, being that he had originally liked her for who she was when she was true to herself, and not when she was pretending to be someone that she thought he wanted.

If you can't be yourself, which first and foremost involves knowing and loving yourself, what's the point?  Differences in a relationship are the spice of life, and make for interesting conversation.  Can you imagine how boring life (and relationships) would be if nobody added any variety?

And for the record, I'm over easy, with a side of hash browns.

V-Day

Valentine's Day is on the brain for a lot of people--I personally choose not to take the holiday seriously, as I believe that I can tell someone I love them any day of the year, and I don't need a corporate-sponsored holiday to make someone feel special.  (and for the record, if 2/14 is the only day out of the year that your significant other makes an effort at romance, maybe you should work on that....)

Day 6...Miss P has a good one.  (Although I'm promised that tomorrow's is going to be a whopper.)  I've had fun writing these blogs over the last several days, and would love to keep it up--my readers are my inspiration, so anytime you want me to write about something, someone, or whatever floats your boat, let me know.  I

Now.  After that little sidebar...
Long distance relationships.  Yay or nay?  Even though I've done them and it lasted for over a year, it wasn't easy. So if you meet a great guy or girl and he or she lives in another state? Do you try to make it work?  Do you walk away?

My oh my.  I sit on the fence on this one.  BIG time.  Can it work?  Absolutely.  Is it going to be easy?  Absolutely not. 

I don't know that it's necessarily based on the distance factor insomuch as that people don't want to take the time and effort to fully develop a relationship these days, and a relationship means having a rock-solid foundation of trust and open communication.  If a couple takes the time to build that foundation, then they can withstand anything, distance included.   Being apart the majority of the time takes a different level of commitment.  Some people would argue that it's less commitment, because you don't spend as much time together.  But in reality, it's as much or more of a commitment than for two people who live in the same town and can spend time together on a regular basis.  You have to trust your partner to go out and be in social settings without you, and trust that the boundaries that you've set with one another will be respected. 
Anyone who knows me for more than 5 minutes knows that I'm a believer in the magic of love, and with that comes the idea that there is one Mr. or Mrs. Right. (ok, ok--i know not everyone buys into that theory, but I do, so leave me alone :-) And who am I to say that I won't meet Mr. Right on a flight to Tokyo?  Or on a cruise across the Atlantic?  Or online?  Or next door?  He may live across the street, across the state, across the country, or across the globe.  But if he truly is the right person for me, then all will work out as it should, and the distance issue will take care of itself.
Is it for everyone?  No.  I don't think some people are willing to take on the unique challenges that a long distance relationship entails.  And some people aren't secure enough about themselves and their own position in a relationship to be able to handle the pressures of being apart.  But I don't think that a person should be written off because of distance.  Taking a chance is what makes life worth living.