Nuttier than a Fruitcake

Grammar Maven

2011-06-29T09:07:00.000-05:00

I was sent this in an email, and I couldn't quit laughing. Therefore, I'm having to share it myself.

Fellow red-pen wielders, this is for you.

Caveat emptor.
Carpe diem.
O si villi, si ergo, fortibus es in ero.
Et tu, brute.

HOW TO WRITE GOOD

by Frank L. Visco

My several years in the word game have learnt me several rules:

Avoid alliteration. Always.
Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)
Employ the vernacular.
Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
Contractions aren't necessary.
Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
One should never generalize.
Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
Profanity sucks.
Be more or less specific.
Understatement is always best.
Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
One-word sentences? Eliminate.
Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
The passive voice is to be avoided.
Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
Who needs rhetorical questions?

How to Write Good, Part II

William Safire

Parenthetical words however must be enclosed in commas.
It behooves you to avoid archaic expressions.
Avoid archaeic spellings too.
Don't repeat yourself, or say again what you have said before.
Don't use commas, that, are not, necessary.
Do not use hyperbole; not one in a million can do it effectively.
Never use a big word when a diminutive alternative would suffice.
Subject and verb always has to agree.
Placing a comma between subject and predicate, is not correct.
Use youre spell chekker to avoid mispeling and to catch typograhpical errers.
Don't repeat yourself, or say again what you have said before.
Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
Don't never use no double negatives.
Poofread carefully to see if you any words out.
Hopefully, you will use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.

Eschew obfuscation.
No sentence fragments.
Don't indulge in sesquipedalian lexicological constructions.
A writer must not shift your point of view.
Don't overuse exclamation marks!!
Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.
Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.
Always pick on the correct idiom.
The adverb always follows the verb.
Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be by rereading and editing.
And always be sure to finish what

..........

2011-06-28T17:50:00.002-05:00

Hurry up.

and wait.

Hurry up.

and wait.

That's what the weeks after nursing school feel like.

Just saying.

C. Dub, RN!!!!! :-)

2011-06-11T07:35:00.000-05:00

NCLEX.

I came.

I took.

I conquered.

And now, after 2 incredibly trying years, I have my nursing license!

The last two years, beginning with exactly one week after our wedding until this past Thursday, June 9, 2011, has been an upside-down whirlwind of emotions. Studying until the wee hours of the morning, making friends with coffee, making friends with the staff of the local gas station that sold really, really big soda fountain drinks. Psychotically checking online to see if grades had posted. Cheering on your classmates. Heart breaking when a classmate was left behind. Realizing at some point that you could hold an intelligent conversation with another nurse and not sound like a nursing student. Hating the HESI. Realizing that you've passed the HESI. Hating the HESI. Realizing that the friends that you've made in the last two years are people that you are proud of, are proud to call classmates and friends, and are people that would have your back one day if you meet again as colleagues. Standing together at pinning. Proud as peacocks in our caps and gowns...

And now, I'm done. It's a surreal feeling, waking up one morning and realizing that, no--I'm not going back to class in the fall. I don't have to read a Saunders book, or open a Lewis book. I don't have to have a backache from carrying my pharmacology book. It's....over. There is no last hurdle to clear...

To my friends nationwide who are waiting to take NCLEX, or to some random person who may stumble across this blog who is getting ready for NCLEX...here are my thoughts:

1. I don't care how prepared or unprepared you are when you walk into the testing, you feel like a moron when you leave. The test is designed to make you feel dumber and dumber :-) (Oh, how to walk with a cane? Then a question about thallasemia? Then a drug I have never heard of? Yep, I failed it).

2. The actual process of checking in at the facility is incredibly unnerving, even under the very best of circumstances. Being fingerprinted, palm-scanned, photographed, and then having to physically empty your pockets makes you feel like a criminal, and not being prepared for it can really, really rattle your nerves. The staff were incredibly nice, but even so, it's incredibly daunting right before you sit down for the exam.

3. The 10-minute tutorial, which everyone is required to sit through, is invaluable time. We already know how to answer the alternate-format questions. That 10 minutes gives you a chance to get acclimated, say a prayer, calm yourself down, etc. Use it.

4. Knowing the classifications of drugs, and knowing specific endings ("lols," statins, etc) is INVALUABLE. Also knowing the specific drugs that have very weird and very specific instructions (MAOI=no tyramine, etc) is also invaluable.

5. The "Nursing Made Incredibly Easy" and the "Pharmacology Made Incredibly Easy" helped tremendously. I had 6 or 7 endocrine questions that I was able to remember because of the book/pictures/mnemonic devices. You can't go back and re-read your med-surg, ob, fundamentals and psych books, but you can re-read the Incredibly Easy books.

6. I didn't feel that the HESI and NCLEX were comparable at all. HESI was more fact/knowledge-based, whereas NCLEX was far more about being able to think through a question and critically think about the answers.

Now it's time to get a big girl job with a big girl paycheck. :-)

Day 13 Blogging Challenge

2011-02-15T14:59:00.000-06:00

A letter to someone...

Thank you. Thank you for what you did, because I am such a stronger person, such a more realistic person. I have bigger goals--much bigger than I could have ever dreamed. I realized that I have a person inside of myself that is capable of doing a lot more and overcoming a lot more than I ever thought possible. I learned the meaning of self-love, the meaning of self-respect, and the value of true friendship. I learned to appreciate my own strengths and weaknesses and that relying on others sometimes is ok.

At the end of the day, I learned things about myself that I would--quite possibly--have never learned. I lost everything, but I gained everything and then some.

Spice it up

2011-02-05T20:45:00.000-06:00

I haven't given up on the blogging challenge. It's just...it's just gonna take a few more than 30 days to complete!

Between nursing school, nursing school, and nursing school, I have no life. None. Add getting one helluva cold to the mix and you get the idea.

So I thought I'd share something, since I know a lot of fellow friends who suffer from allergies, sinus problems, and the like.

Y'all know I lurrrrve my neti pot.

You know, the little teapot-looking-thing that they sell on the cold and flu aisle at Walgreens?

I've been an avid user for nearly 2 years, and I've seen a definite decrease in the number of sinus issues I've had to deal with. As a matter of fact, this is the first time in quite a while that I've had a serious case of the can't-breathe-at-all.

Tried and true wasn't cutting it. Neither was anything else I tried, including, but not limited to: Theraflu, Nyquil, Afrin, Benadryl, Flonase...

Cue the souped-up neti...

With cayenne.

Cayenne pepper, y'all. A little dab'll do ya, but lordy, it WORKED. For the first time in 3.5 days, I'm breathing. Breathing through my nose and happy as a clam!

Mix the normal saline solution you normally use (sea salt, baking soda, and water), and add 2 shakes of cayenne. Strain through a paper towel to make sure you're not getting pepper flakes up your nose. Neti away as usual.

Check with your doctor if you've got something funky going on. Please and thank you.

Day 12 Blogging Challenge

2011-01-30T10:41:00.000-06:00

Put your ipod on shuffle and list the first 10 songs that play...

1. Amos Lee--Southern Girl

2. Miranda Lambert-Gunpowder and Lead

Miranda Lambert - Gunpowder & Lead (Official Music Video). Watch more top selected videos about: Miranda Lambert

3. Michael Franti and Spearhead--Hello, Bonjour

4. Bloodhound Gang--Bad Touch

5. Avett Brothers--Pretty Girl from Chile

6. Staind--Zoe Jane

7. Barbara Blue--Drunken Angel

8. Van Morrison--Tupelo Honey

9. OAR--Night Shift

10.Glee Cast--Somebody to Love

Glee! Somebody to love
Uploaded by Fatanaes. - Watch original web videos.

Day 11 Blogging Challenge

2011-01-29T13:43:00.000-06:00

I took a brief hiatus from blogging because life turned upside down (again...) and school has me trying to remember what my own name is. However, some well-intentioned friends held me accountable and encouraged me to continue.

So I'm back with Day 11 of the blogging challenge--a picture of something I don't like. There are a lot of things I don't like, and I lot of snarky comments I could choose to say or post, but I will refrain. Barely. However, I will say this:

Enough said. I have enough going on right now that stupid people don't even hit my radar screen.

Day 10 Blogging Challenge

2011-01-04T21:40:00.000-06:00

A story about a past relationship.

I find that almost 6 years later, it is far easier to talk about, far easier to write about. But the words I wrote less than a year later still ring true to me, and I don't think I could say it any better today than I could years ago. I have changed--certainly, who doesn't in 6 years?

I've found the kind of love with my husband that some people never are lucky enough to find. I've found friends who pulled me out of some of the darkest moments of my life. I've found people willing to stand up for me when I wasn't able to stand up for myself. The following was written in 2006, and you know, my prince did come. Not on a shining stallion, but rather in a truck covered with mud and all manner of hunting gear stashed under the seat and a penchant for the Grateful Dead and hair that sometimes looks like Einstein might have been his stylist and who enjoys my sincere love of all weird foods and wines and who loves to read and explore new things and who doesn't wear jewels but rather duck calls on a lanyard. My prince did come, down a rutted dirt driveway 2 hours late for our first date, and you know? I wouldn't have it any other way, because I know--I know--how much he loves me and respects me. And I him.

If one person reading this can help someone else, or help themselves, I have succeeded.

The following is the same as it was written several years ago:

They say that you cannot truly begin to help yourself until you hit complete rock bottom--August 14th, 2005 represent the absolute rock bottom for me. And a slow climb it has been, yet one that has forever changed me and given me a new appreciation for life, kindness, beauty and happiness. When all else was broken, I thank God every day that I was able to keep a mostly sunny disposition and not let the circumstances make me bitter and angry. Each sunrise, each sunset, each small child, each rainstorm, each rainbow--things that may have gone unnoticed before--all are reasons to thank God for the gift of life and the love of family and friends.

I can't count how many times people told me, "What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger." And as sick of hearing it as I became, it is unfailingly true. I find, a year later, that I have become less trusting, less open. Yet I also find that I have more self-confidence, a strength and inner peace that I didn't have before. Strength is born of adversity.

I lost myself.

I found myself.

I am, for the first time in my life, completely at peace with myself. I am happy with me. I now know that someday I will find the deep and meaningful fairy tale romance that I've wanted all of my life. And I refuse to settle for anything less. Yes, I have fun. Yes, I laugh. And yes, someday my prince will come. I don't know what form he will take, and I don't know what his name will be, but someday. Someday.

The bruises have faded, the scars have all but vanished. But my heart will never forget. My heart will never forget what happened that night. I still find myself having to fight not to flinch when a man raises his hand, even if it's to give a high-five. I struggle not to cringe at hugs. But every day is a new day. Every day is another chance at life, another chance to touch someone else's heart. Another chance to say thank you to everyone who has been so amazing over the last year.

I urge anyone who reads this to educate yourself against domestic violence. Know the signs. Be aware. I never thought it would happen to me. You never think that you'll be "that girl." You never think that the person you love can turn against you. But it happens every day, and most women aren't nearly as lucky as I am. Volunteer, donate your time and money to your local domestic violence centers, and know the signs. You may save the life of your sister, friend, mother, classmate, cousin, neighbor. It happens in every walk of life, in every ethnicity, in every economic bracket, in every neighborhood, in every culture. Don't think that it won't happen to you or to someone you love. Ignorance is a death sentence.

Today, I'm not afraid to be who I am. I'm silly, I'm clumsy, I'm goofy, I'm a bookworm, I'm a music nut, I'm a dreamer, I'm a wisher, I'm a little kid at heart, I'm a hopeless romantic, I'm halfway retarded, I'm not always the brightest crayon in the box. But most of all, I'm me, and that's something I'm comfortable with.

This poem was on the back of Mr. Threadgill's door when I was in high school, and it's one of my favorites. Find peace.

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.

Day 09 Blogging Challenge

2010-12-30T19:02:00.000-06:00

Something I'm proud of.

That's easy:

And in 4ish months, with a little bit of luck, I can add this one:

Silent Night

2010-12-25T10:24:00.001-06:00

I hope you and yours have a blessed, peaceful, wonderful and safe Christmas weekend. To my wonderful family--I love you. Thank you. To Joe Joe--we miss you every single day. Luther, Lamont and LuLu were in the tree for you and your sugar booger saved you a piece of chocolate. To my friends-you are amazing. To the Auburn Tiger Nation--WAR EAGLE!

Here's to you, friends and family.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-24T08:58:00.000-06:00

I'm taking a 3 day hiatus from blogging since we'll be out of town and will have no internet service.

Merry Christmas!!

Day 08 Blogging Challenge

2010-12-23T09:31:00.000-06:00

I'm sick, which makes me cranky, which therefore means this is going to be short, sweet and to the point.

2 days before Christmas and you want to know my short term goals??

Survive.

Pure and simple.

Between raising a three-year-old, being broke, being in school, and the ridiculous amounts of family politicking that accompany the holiday season, survival is the only thing on my mind.

Longer-term than that--there are exactly 143 days from today's date (including weekends, holidays, and days we don't have classes) until May 14th, which to me is a HUGE date, because...

GRADUATION.

Cannot get here fast enough. Granted, I still have to take (and pass!) the NCLEX, but knowing that the school part is almost behind me is definitely a light at the end of the of the tunnel.

Day 07 Blogging Challenge

2010-12-22T08:55:00.000-06:00

The person or thing that has had the biggest impact on my life.

I was convinced that this was going to be a person-so many amazing people have had impacts on my life, in both positive and negative ways. Everything that I am and my views about the world are shaped by the people I have come into contact with...I believe that it's true that we are all balls of clay that are molded by the circumstances of our lives.

But I realized that:

1. I couldn't narrow it down to one person who has the biggest impact and

2. I wouldn't be in contact with half of the people that have had impacts if it weren't for one thing.

The internet. Between blogging, social networking, and the vast array of...STUFF, the internet has completely changed the way we interact, the way we learn, and the way that we view the world around us. My generation, and all of the generations to follow, have never known life without it. I was in college when Facebook began, and I wouldn't remember how to write a paper without Google Scholar...kidding.

We get the news faster, we are more globally savvy (as a whole), and sites like People of Walmart and Awkward Family Photos give us something to laugh at. Whole companies freak out when the server is down, and it makes headlines when sites like Facebook are not working. Like it or not, the internet has shaped our world and the way we feel about the people and things in it.

Day 06 Blogging Challenge...oh, to be a bookworm

2010-12-21T09:24:00.001-06:00

So today is supposed to be about a hobby I have.

Reading isn't a hobby.

Reading is a passion.

Old books. New books. Electronic books. All books. I could go on and on about books...but instead I thought I would list my top books--there are so, so many books, and so so many genres that I could literally list books all day long...these are in no particular order, just great, great books.

1. The Poisonwood Bible

2. Acheron (part of a series)

3. Escape (from Polygamy)

4. Outlander

5. If On a Winter's Night a Traveler

6. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

7. The Waste Land

8. Brave New World

9. The Kite Runner

10. Eat. Pray. Love. (way better than the movie. trust me)

11. Middlesex

12. The Other Boleyn Girl

13. On The Road (Kerouac and I don't exactly get along-but still worth it)

14. The Count of Monte Cristo (probably one of my all-time favorites)

15. Les Miserables

16. Dubliners

17. The Help

18. The Clan of the Cave Bear

Books can take you anywhere. Can make you be anything. Can help you see things in a different perspective.

And this is, no lie, what my table might look like at any given moment:

Day 05 Blogging Challenge

2010-12-20T09:11:00.000-06:00

Oh, the places you will go...

I love to travel. I love getting lost in a new city and finding some hole in the wall restaurant or store, or discovering some off-the-beaten path pub or bookstore. I even like sitting in airports and on planes, because you never, ever know who you might see or meet. On one flight, this H-U-G-E man came rumbling down the aisle and sat next to me. Five minutes later, he's showing me pictures of his fights.

Fights.

The Huge Man was a professional wrestler. Like, Monday Night Raw professional wrestler.

And then there's the little old lady who chatter the whole flight, or the guy who falls asleep and drools the whole time, or the woman working on her "novel."

But I digress. Somewhere I've traveled.

I've been all over the country. I've been all over the UK. I've been to Mexico.

But one place stands out for me.

I loved Stonehenge. I loved the mystery, the unknown. I loved the raw open field with absolutely nothing around except the towering stones. I would go back in a heartbeat.

Day 04 Blogging Challenge--the Soundtrack

2010-12-19T09:40:00.002-06:00

15 songs that represent my life's soundtrack.

This is a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. I've gotten up and walked away and come back to this a bajillionty times this morning.

Numbers 1 and 2 and 3 are easy.

1. Aslyn's-That's When I Love You.

I walked down the aisle to my husband with this song playing, and it will forever be a part of my soundtrack. I can't find the version that we used, but it was a little more acoustic and slow compared to this version.

2.Allman Brothers-Soulshine.

This is "our song."

3. Israel "IZ" Kaʻanoʻi Kamakawiwoʻole- Somewhere over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World

Same as number 1 and 2.

4. Bowling for Soup- 99 Biker Friends

When I was going through a really, really, really dark period in my life, one of my best friends, who happens to be a biker friend, played this song for me, and it was kind of my mantra. I mean, who doesn't need 99 biker friends to go kick someone's ass?

5. Cherry Poppin' Daddies-Zoot Suit Riot

This is just one of the more popular songs that's indicative of all swing/jive music. I love, love to dance and sometimes think I would have been better suited to having been born in the 20s.

6. Jesse Cook- Tango Flamenco

Any flamenco music, really. How many can claim that they were on the flamenco dance team in high school? Yeah, I'm a dork. Yeah, I don't care. I loved it, and I still love flamenco guitar.

7. Alanis Morrissette-ummm, really anything from the "Jagged Little Pill" album

How many angsty teenagers DIDN'T have this album when it came out?

8. Jimmy Buffett--Fruitcakes

Do I need to say anything more? My nickname has been "Fruitcake" since I was 11.

9. Jimmy Buffett--When the Coast is Clear

I am a Gulf Coast girl from the tip of my head to the polish on my toenails. I was devastated when the BP oil spill happened, and I was sitting on the beach listening to Jimmy Buffett when he played this song in Gulf Shores.

10. The Proclaimers-500 Miles

If there is ever a song more designed to get stuck in your head, this is it.

11. Michael Franti/Spearhead--Hello Bonjour

The whole album is pretty politically charged, but the messages in nearly all of his songs are pretty powerful. Hello Bonjour is my favorite--why are we so intolerant of people who are different than we are?

12. Nickel Creek-When You Come Back Down

My mama and Joe dedicated this song to me when I graduated from high school. And I still believe with all my heart that Joe is and will forever be there for me, even though I can't see him here. He and my mama always supported my dreams, and they were my "solid ground" while I was flying high.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ng5-VUDcjJ8&feature=related

13. Cowboy Mouth-Hurricane Party

This was my absolute favorite Cowboy Mouth song before Hurricane Katrina ravaged their hometown, and they have done a lot to rebuild their city. And anyone who has every lived in a hurricane area, this song is so true--it means one things--a hurricane party! If you've never listened to Cowboy Mouth, check out some of their other songs as well.

14. Weezer--Undone

Straight back to 7th grade.

15. Cheap Trick-I Want You to Want Me.

This song has cheered me up from many a miserable mood. It is the best down-in-the-dumps antidote known to man, especially when dancing to it with your favorite Mr. Fabulousness.

Day 03 Blogging Challenge

2010-12-18T09:10:00.000-06:00

A habit I wish I didn't have.

This one is probably the easiest to answer, but it doesn't come without some close second-placers. I am a hopeless electronic junkie. I compulsively buy shoes. The concept of organization means nothing to me--I live in organized chaos.

But in the end, how could I choose anything other than the habit that is dangerous, expensive, and nasty?

As if we didn't all know by now that these were a load of baloney. I hate it. I hate smelling like smoke. I hate actually smoking. I hate how much it costs. And I have every single intention of quitting in 2011.

Bank on it.

Day 02 Blogging Challenge

2010-12-17T08:39:00.001-06:00

Today is supposed to be a photo of something I cannot live without. And I went through my head. Was is my handy dandy notebook (computer)? Was it my cell phone? Was it my camera? Was it my Kindle? And then I realized that everything that I was listing was an expensive electronic device.

So then I started to think a little more on a basic level.

Sushi?

Nursing textboooks? (no, I could really, really live without those...)

No, what I realized that in the end, it wasn't the stuff. It never was. This is what I couldn't live without:

The people that make up my world, my family and friends. That's the one thing I couldn't live without. They are my world, and without them, everything is....just stuff. I can live without the electronics, the gizmos, the gadgets. But these people are irreplaceable. Some are gone, to be seen again in Heaven. Some I don't talk to nearly enough. And some I didn't have recent pictures of. But my family and friends, that is the one thing I couldn't imagine life without.

Except maybe chapstick :-)

Freedom!...and Day 01 of the 30 Day Blogging Challenge

2010-12-16T15:34:00.000-06:00

I finally have a few minutes to myself. No class. No care plans. No case studies. Bliss.

A friend of mine challenged me to blog daily, and even though I couldn't find the site she recommended, I found one that challenged thirty continuous days of blogging. Sounds like fun to me!

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself.
Day 02- A picture of something you cannot live without.
Day 03- A habit that you wish you didn’t have.
Day 04- List 15 songs that represent your life’s soundtrack.
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to.
Day 06- A hobby you have.
Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you.
Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why.
Day 09- Something/someone you’re proud of.
Day 10- A story about a past relationship.
Day 11- A picture of something you dislike.
Day 12- A picture of your room & don’t cheat by cleaning it. Share a secret.
Day 13- Write a letter telling someone something you could never tell them.
Day 14- A picture of something you ate and 10 confessions.
Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle & share the first 10 songs that play.
Day 16- Something you could live without.
Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why.
Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have.
Day 19- Nicknames you have & how or why you have them.
Day 20- If you had 3 wishes, what would they be.
Day 21- Share a picture from your day.
Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else.
Day 23- What is something you crave.
Day 24- Share a story about your past that you are ashamed of.
Day 25- What I would find in your bag.
Day 26- Places you want to visit before you die.
Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge?
Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned.
Day 30- A picture of you today & 20 goals you want to accomplish.

So. Today is the first day. Without further ado, a picture of yours truly:

And fifteen interesting things about myself...

1. I am, and forever will be, a band dork. I loved being in the band in high school. My best friends were in the band with me, and some of my fondest memories from high school are from trips to games and competitions, not to mention "band camp."

2. I am a reader to the very core of who I am. I read cereal boxes, blogs, shampoo bottles, magazines. If it has words on it, I will read it. I have been to every country, even countries that don't even exist, within the pages of books. A child who doesn't know how to read is one of the most negligent things a parent can do to a child. It's an education, a mystery, an escape.

3. Life is unfair. Brutally so.

4. I believe in loving life for everything it is worth. We are not guaranteed tomorrow, and life is far too short to give two flying flips what someone else thinks about the kind of person you are. Quirky? Goofball? Weird? Yes, please.

5. I am terrible at math.

6. People will never cease to disappoint and disgust you. But people will also never cease to surprise you, either.

7. I am a Taurimi. My birthday falls on the cusp of Taurus and Gemini, and though I don't put a lot of stock into horoscopes, I like to read both and pick the one I like better.

8. Some of my very best friends are the ones that I never get to see. I sometimes think that we have such a strong friendship because we are never together, and the stressors of daily life don't take the same toll that they would if we lived in the same town and saw each other all the time.

9. I think my mother is one of the strongest people I know.

10. It is rare that I get angry. Even rarer that I hold a grudge for very long. But some of the events that have recently transpired have tarnished my faith in a lot of things, and I don't know that time or patience will heal those wounds.

11. I wear a 7 on my right foot and an 8 on the left. Shoe shopping is a nightmare. I'm probably the one to blame if you can't find the mate to the shoe you're in love with at Target!

12. I have a very strong dislike of cold weather. I was told that there is a town in Florida called "Frost Free." I think I need to live there.

13. I'm a big, fat redneck at heart. I love to play in the mud, drive big trucks, make a mess, play in the woods. I'm just not quiet enough or cold-blooded enough to hunt. I can't sit still that long.

14. My husband is my very best friend and champion. I consider myself to be one of the luckiest women on the planet.

15. The glass is ALWAYS half-full.

shamefully loved

2010-08-04T17:07:00.000-05:00

After reading this article this morning, I had to compile my own list of foods that I shamefully admit that i lurrrrve. There are some foods that, no matter how bad I know they are for me or how many ingredients I'll never be able to pronounce, they still sing their siren songs from the aisles of the grocery store or the drive-thru line...

1. Ketchup-flavored Pringles. Once a limited edition and now freely available on the grocery shelves, my friends cringe when I pull them out. But to a ketchup-loving fiend, these are the gods of the cylindrical cans...

2. Fried bologna. Maybe it's a southern thing. I don't know.

3. Cherry 7UP. It's a Shirley Temple in a can.

4. McD's Big Mac and fries. I know. One of these alone can cause heart failure, death in minutes, pimples, a massive weight gain, a diabetic coma, etc. But it's what's calling my name when I see the golden arches...

5. Banana-flavored moon pies. Growing up in the south, especially in parts of the south that celebrate Mardi Gras, I have always loved moon pies. Even if they're a weird shade of yellow and sometimes get crushed in the street before making it into your loot bag, they still taste amazing, especially after you zap them in the microwave and pair it with some vanilla ice cream...

MULLET

2010-07-27T09:15:00.003-05:00

My husband and I stalk mullets. Actually, we score points for mullet sightings (as well as fanny packs, but that's a different kettle of fish). And I scored the motherload with this sighting...it doesn't really count, because I didn't take the picture, but it's still one of the best fem-mullets I've seen in weeks.

Crane Gang

(did i mention that I also love the People of Walmart site?)

it's not trash!

2010-07-26T12:28:00.000-05:00

I am a certified pack rat. I should have an episode on "Hoarders" about me.

Not kidding.

Not even a little.

My husband and I are in the process of trying to do the "big purge." You know, where you go through the mass quantities of crap that you've accumulated since you moved out of your parent's home...me 10 years ago, him nearly 20. In doing said "big purge," I have discovered a few things:

1. I need an AA program for shoe addictions.

2. I have more "gadgets" than one person should be allowed to have

3. My husband needs an AA program for hunting/fishing gear

4. Sometimes being a sentimental freak pays off. Like finding the scrapbook I made in high school.

5. I should not be allowed to go to yard sales.

6. Books that sucked the first time around should be discarded because..you know..they still suck the second time around.

7. We could run our own costume shop from the closet. Wanna be Jack Sparrow? The Good Witch? a Pregnant Priest? We've got you covered.

8. Boas? Yeah, they multiply.

Someone please come over with a bobcat/bulldozer/dump truck and HELP ME!! I have an inability to be rational about getting rid of things like bundt pans (i have 3), cassette players (how else am i going to play the NKOTB tapes and the random mix tapes from middle school??), prom/anchor ball dresses (like I'm ever going to be a size 4 again), stilettos (who am i kidding? I don't wear shoes that don't inspire comfort...hellloooooo, Dr. Scholl's...), vacuum cleaners (why do I have 4?), tupperware (i will never, ever, ever have this many leftovers), crockpots (i have 2), and assorted other items.

Not to mention I keep losing the dogs.

stoopid night class and summer boredom

2010-06-29T16:04:00.001-05:00

Who in the world dreamed up the concept of night classes? While I understand that some people can't go to school during the day, and night classes work as part of their schedules, i have ZERO motivation to go to class at 6 pm. I'm supposed to be at home in my old-lady recliner at 6 pm watching Jeopardy!

The good news? By this time next year, I'll be d-o-n-e with nursing school and d-o-n-e with school, period. At least for the time being.

On the plus side, I have read more in the last 3 weeks than i have ever read. Most recently, all of Pamie's books. "Going in Circles" is a great, easy, true-to-life read. Lurved it. And made me want to join roller derby even more. But that has to wait until after nursing school, since apparently care plans are more important than giant hematomas from busting your ass.

Jimmy Buffett. Next week. Happy me. Even if the reason he's playing here is a shitty-ass reason--the oil spill is depressing, to say the least. Being the hardest hit county so far is definitely taking its emotional toll.

...

2010-05-19T19:47:00.000-05:00

one day at a time, one step at a time.

JTB, I love you and I'm proud to be your daughter. I'm proud of the legacy you left behind with me and with your "sugar booger." I may have a few screws loose, but I came by it honestly and am proud to be stubborn, pig-headed, a dreamer, a lone wolf, a dream catcher, a reader, a grammar Nazi, and a few other choice descriptors. I'm proud that you challenged me to find my own way, and that way may still yet lead to a law degree.....after nursing school. I'm proud of these blue eyes, so much like yours. And I'm proud that you taught me to be stronger than the people that try to drag you down to their level.

I miss you every single day.

the sun sets

2010-03-25T19:42:00.001-05:00

On March 10, 2010, I lost one of the best men I have ever known.

Exactly one month to the day from his surgery, my dad lost his battle with liver cancer.

Words can never, ever adequately convey what we're going through.

MIA

2010-02-07T16:44:00.000-06:00

I've been MIA lately, and will continue to be MIA for a few more days. My dad was diagnosed with cholangiocarcinoma, which is cancer of the bile ducts of the liver. The good news is, as of today, he's a candidate for surgery, which will happen on 2/10/2010 (this Wednesday). The bad news is the surgery is a liver resctioning, which is a huge, huge deal--the surgeon plans to remove about 45% of his liver.

I haven't decided yet if I'll be updating for everyone here or via Facebook, but please keep my family in your thoughts and prayers this week and in the weeks to come.

Many thanks.

Awesome Book: "The Help"

2010-01-18T20:15:00.000-06:00

I stumbled across this book on Amazon and bought it on a whim. I have a Kindle, so it was there for about a week before I started reading it. And once I started, I couldn't put it down.

If you grew up in the South, or knew someone who grew up in the South, or had parents who grew up in the South, this book will speak to you. The Amazon review doesn't do it justice. It tells the story of the black maids that work in the homes of the white families in Jackson, Mississippi in the late 1950s and 1960s, just about the time that the integration movement was sweeping the United States......unless you lived in the Heart of Dixie. It's the story of the women that came into the homes and raised white children, while leaving their own children at home so that they could have food on the table. It's the story of their hearts and the joys and heartbreaks that they faced, and of the dichotomy of love and hate that they shared with the white families that hired them.

Fruitcake Wedding: The Ceremony

2010-01-15T19:55:00.000-06:00

I've already written about our ceremony, and I can't say enough how many people commented, complimented, and have shared in the words we chose to live by. I think the one thing I'm most proud of is the script to the ceremony, and I've felt honored that people have chosen to use it, in whole and in part, in their own weddings.

The actual ceremony went by so incredibly fast. One minute I'm freaking out behind closed door about not tripping and falling and the next, Mr. Fruitcake and I were walking back up the aisle...married!

My dad walked my down the aisle, and I don't have words for how proud my daddy was when he put my hand in Mr. Fruitcake's. He stood with us while Mr. Fruitcake's Man-Wife read our opening prayer:

(Did I mention that it was about a million degrees? It wasn't SUPPOSED to be, but in South Alabama, the first weekend in May is always a crap shoot.)

My best friend read her reading, which I had tailored specifically for her:

I was so proud of her--she was so afraid that she wouldn't be able to make it though the reading without crying, and while she visibly struggled, she managed to keep it together.

Niecey, on the other hand, had never been to a wedding, had never been in a wedding, and...well, let's just say that she didn't really see the point in having to stand up for a ceremony when there were so many other things to do...

Did I mention that the Reverend looked like ZZ Top?

We had decided that we wanted to say our vows together, rather than reading them one at a time. When it came time to say them, we...well, we both forgot the words. And had ourselves a good laugh standing in front of all of our family and friends. All we could think was that everyone knew at that moment that it was truly a Mr. and Mrs. Fruitcake kind of wedding...it was so typical of something we would do.

I had promised myself that I wasn't going to cry, and i ALMOST made it though the ceremony. Until, near the very end of the ceremony, when Mr. Fruitcake caught my eye and mouthed, "I love you." Aaaaand, I lost it. Predictably.

And when I lost it, so did Mama Fruitcake:

But guess what? The next few seconds were the ones where the Reverend pronounced us Mr. and Mrs. Walters--and the tears? They vanished :-)

We were MARRIED! And it was officially time to celebrate!!

I had one more little trick up my sleeve--Mr.Fruitcake had been a part of all of the wedding planning, but I had saved a trick for him. I had arranged for fireworks to be set off as they pronounced us husband and wife, and for the fireworks to go off over the lake. Unfortunately for me, I had undercalculated what time the sun would go down, so the fireworks were somewhat lost in the setting sun. But Mr. Fruitcake was surprised, nonetheless, and he'll tell you that he loved being halfway up the hill and turning around to see them.

Party time!

Fruitcake Wedding: Showtime!

2010-01-08T21:47:00.000-06:00

After the craziness of the morning of our wedding, it had somehow become afternoon. And "afternoon" meant "ohmygodthisweddingishappening...soon."

I had been prettified, my shadow Niecey had been prettified, all of my favorite girls were on hand (except Mama Fruitcake. She was manically shampooing the carpet in her bedroom. At home. 45 minutes away). And when Mrs. A pulled into the parking lot at the Lodge, everything had been finished. Everything.

Giving Mrs. M a huge hug for taking care of all of the details

After the frantic morning, we had about an hour left before I had to sequester myself in my room away from earlybird guests and, more importantly, Mr. Fruitcake. I got a chance to really look around and see the transformation. We had chosen the Lodge for a lot of reasons, but it had taken a lot of work to take it from a hunting lodge on a lake to a spot perfect for our wedding. But the hours of work that my friends and family put into our wedding made it perfect.

Have I mentioned that our wedding was....um...colorful? And by colorful, I mean crazy explosions of bright summer colors? The thought of having a monochromatic wedding was my idea of hell, and our wedding was anything but white lace and roses. We were more of a hot pink, neon yellow and flaming orange kind of couple.

Have you picked up on the pinwheel theme yet?

Suddenly, my girls were on me like flies, herding me into my "suite" because Mr. Fruitcake had arrived on scene. The "suite" was actually the room that we had used to stash all of the decorations that we had taken down. Which resulted in one of my favorite pictures from our wedding. You have to know me and Mr. Fruitcake, and know how much of an outdoorsman Mr. Fruitcake is, to truly get the irony of the picture, but it makes me laugh every time I see it:

Yes, my wedding dress is hanging from a deer head. With a tractor supply company hat. And rose petals.

Mama Fruitcake finally shows up, and it's suddenly time to get into my dress! My dress, my dress, which I love, love, love.

Of course, Mama Fruitcake, Mrs. A, Mrs. M, Miss E, Miss S, and Sis Fruitcake all start crying. Which causes the classic Fruitcake gesture:

Meanwhile, Mr. Fruitcake is being subjected to the photographers and last minute preparations:

And then, there's a knock on the door from Torrie, our coordinator, and it's time to get this show on the road!!

My dad met me at the door, and literally had to keep me from falling down. The nerves were getting the best of me. Don't get me wrong, I was ecstatic to be marrying Mr. Fruitcake, but suddenly, the idea of eloping held a lot more appeal!

We had made the decision, way back when we first started planning our wedding, that we both had too many close friends to avoid hurting someone's feelings by choosing a wedding party. If we had chosen everyone that is truly important and close to us, we would have had 20+ people on each side. So.....we got rid of the whole idea of a wedding party. Sort of. We asked his then 7-year old niece (Niecey) and 8-year-old nephew (D-man) to be our maid of honor and best man. And my 2-year old niece (Fruitcake Jr.) and 2 year-old godson (A-man) were our ring bearer and flower girls. We also let Niecey and D-man pick the song that they would come down the aisle to.

The Little Mermaid's Kiss the Girl it was.

Seriously, the sweetest kids ever.

The opening strands of Disney started playing, and D-man and A-man started their long walk to the altar.

I was watching from around the corner, and could hear our guests awe-ing over A-man's cuteness and inability to pass a single pinwheel without wanting to spin it. It took more than three quarters of the song for these two to make it to the end of the aisle.

Then it was time for my girls.

Niecey, normally a hellion who never slows down, was suddenly shy! And Fruitcake Jr. couldn't wait to be in the spotlight, but didn't quite have long enough legs to make it down the stairs alone. Fruitcake Jr. was pulling Niecey down the aisle!

And then it was time.

I had chosen, thanks to Mrs. A, a far more contemporary grand entrance song than I had originally planned--I had kind of pictured myself walking to Pachabel's Canon in D or something similarly "wedding-y."

But the more our wedding took on a life of its own, it just didn't fit. And when I heard the song that I chose for the first time, it fit perfectly.

That's When I Love You by Aslyn

More Aslyn music on iLike

We didn't use the particular version, but I can't find a clip of the version that we used online. The words are the same, but it's a more mellow version.

Daddy Fruitcake and I started our walk, and I remember thinking that I wasn't sure that it was possible to be any happier than I was at that exact moment.

I didn't get to see this picture until long after the wedding was actually over, but it immediately became my favorite, because the camera caught what I had not been able to see----Mr. Fruitcake's expression the first time he saw me as I walked down the aisle:

The next thing I know, Daddy Fruitcake is putting Mr. Fruitcake's hand in mine, and the ceremony is under way!

Fruitcake Wedding: The Pre-Game

2010-01-07T19:03:00.002-06:00

The morning of the wedding was a TOUGH one. Because of some pre-wedding jitters and the fact that we had a bunch of friends coming in from miles and miles away, we had gone out to the Flora-Bama the night before after the rehearsal dinner. Thoughful (thoughtless???) friends made sure we had drinks, shots, and other nameless concoctions to celebrate our wedding, and Fruitcake was a RumCake that night.

Blessed Mary, I have wonderful friends. M and A got up before the buttcrack of dawn to go to Chick-fil-A (did you know that they open at 4 am? Seriously?). So when I woke up (grumpily to the sound of an alarm), they had hot coffee for Mama Fruitcake, a ginormous Diet Coke for me, and chicken biscuits all around. Happy Fruitcake. Except that because of a scheduling problem (the girl that was supposed to do my hair, and Niecey's hair (my niece) went into premature labor, and we had to rearrange our day), I had to be at my hairdresser at 8 am. (Did I mention that the wedding was a 6? That night?)

Mr. Fruitcake, in keeping with the tradition that we wouldn't see each other after we parted ways at the FloraBama, agreed to bring his 8-year-old niece back to the hair salon on his way home from his sister's. However, on the way to the hair salon, I get this picture from SIL Fruitcake:

Mr. Fruitcake, still on the couch at his sister's condo. Oops. Running a wee bit behind schedule.

Thanks to one of my very best friends, I only had to worry about climbing in and out of her car. Mrs. A took care of the rest. And thankfully, SIL Fruitcake threw some cold water on Mr. Fruitcake and got him up and moving, and my niece came around the corner just in time to hop into the stylist's chair.

Because of the rather awkward location of our wedding (I LOVED the Lodge. Getting to it was another story), we had to go around the world and back the morning of the wedding. Not to mention that the ONLY MAC counter is in Mobile, which meant driving 30 minutes in the opposite direction. But lordy-loo, it was so worth it. First of all, MAC makeup is incredible, especially for special occasions where you know you're going to be photographed. Secondly, their makeup artists are incredible.

Suddenly (ok, it was really like 2 hours, but whatever), I went from plain-jane Fruitcake to feeling very much like a bride on her wedding day. And a very real set of butterflies set in!

(And yes, I totally rocked the fake eyelashes. I love them, since mine are naturally blonde and straight as a stick, which also means invisible.)

Did I mention that my makeup artist (Sharon) rocked? (If you're in the Mobile area, go check her out. Get a free makeover. I promise that you won't be sorry).

Niecey was getting bored and cranky, so Mrs. A took her to the Disney store while I finished up. And somehow, Niecey managed to finagle a promise for a milkshake. Cue a drive-thru stop at Checkers for a strawberry milkshake for Niecey and a loaded order of fries and another giant Diet Coke for moi. (I should add the Mrs. A was freaking out inside, but did a beautiful job of hiding it from me. "A freaking milkshake. Everything we have to do, and we have to stop for a freaking milkshake.")

While Mrs. A, Niecey and I were being prettified, Miss S, Mr. J, Mrs. M, and a horde of other people were working their hineys off getting the Lodge ready for our ceremony.

Flowers:

(Mr. J with our daisies)

The ceremony site:

The pinwheels:

The tent:

Our favors:

Our guestbook:

i LOVED our guestbook. Instead of doing something that was ultimately going to end up in a box in the attic, my dad gave us a copy of The Best of Life, which highlights the best photographs taken over 75 years of Life magazine. We provided a basket of Sharpies, and our guests signed the pages. We have some hilarious and touching pages, and it's something that we can now display on our coffee table.

And suddenly, it was time to boogie on to the Lodge to finish up our last minute preparations and get this show on the road!

Did I mention that we had a photo booth?

Meant to Say Wednesdays

2010-01-06T13:19:00.002-06:00

Chief started something fun!

To Mr. Fruitcake: "The trash ran this morning."

What I meant to say, "Why the EFF was I outside in blizzard conditions this morning when you promised to take out the trash, told me you were GOING to take out the trash, and even said you DID take out the trash. WHY was the trash still in the kitchen this morning, a full 3 hours after you left for work, and why am I schlepping it out to the ROAD?"

To uber-snotty classmate: 'Oh, you have test again?"

What I meant: "FINALLY! I have outscored your utlra-studying ass on SOMETHING! Eat my shorts! Booya! Ha! HAHA! I haven't cracked a book since before Thanksgiving and STILL outscored you!"

To classmate: "I like your new 'do!"

What I meant: "What in God's green earth were you thinking with THAT?"

Gah...I could go on and on and on...

Fruitcake Wedding: The Final Preparations

2010-01-05T11:00:00.002-06:00

We were still frantically trying to find someone to perform our ceremony. All of the rent-a-ministers who make their living performing beach ceremonies down the road were booked (we were getting married on a popular weekend). All of the local judges were booked for the weekend. All of the pastors and priests were either booked or wouldn't perform our ceremony because we weren't members of their particular church (I'm Episcopalian, Mr. Fruitcake is Methodist, and to date, we haven't found a church home for both of us.).

Enter The Universal Life Church. It wasn't our first choice. It wasn't even our LAST choice. It wasn't on the radar screen. But with now just over 24 hours to go before our wedding is supposed to take place, with more than 250 guests coming in from all over the country, something had to happen NOW.

And the more we thought about it, the more that this seemed like the perfect solution to our current problem. Submit a person's information, and ten minutes later, print out a Certificate of Ordination permitting them to marry us in the State of Alabama. (FYI, not all states recognize officiants ordained online. Alabama, fortunately for us, does).

Lo and behold...Reverend Beau was born. Beau, who looks like a stunt double for ZZ Top, was the perfect solution to our somewhat offbeat wedding. (Props to The Offbeat Bride Tride for so many of the ideas that we used in our wedding, as well as the Bees and members at WeddingBee for the help with our script and for the idea of ULC).

Less than 24 hours to go, and the crisis of the ceremony was finished...but there was still so much to be done. God bless Susan, Meg, Emily, Justin, Joe, Mom, Alisha, the Gibbs and everyone else who worked nearly around the clock that last 48 hours to get everything together.

This:

(What the main room in the Lodge looked like before we started decorating..)

Gave way to this:

...and suddenly, it was time for the rehearsal dinner. And bless her heart, Susan stayed behind to finish the last minute decorations with my aunt.

And the next morning was showtime!

Fruitcake Wedding: The Pre-Preparations Train Wreck

2010-01-04T19:56:00.002-06:00

Three days before our wedding, the judge that we had picked to perform our ceremony emails me. He had been given the script to our ceremony months before, and he had a few "minor" changes that he wanted to make.

The changes?

He had deleted the vows that Mr. Fruitcake and I had written together and wanted to insert the vows that we had very adamantly avoided...the ones that say, "I promise to honor and obey my husband..."

I promptly emailed him back and said that while I appreciated his input, Mr. Fruitcake and I had worked very hard to write something together, and we weren't comfortable using those vows.

The next morning (48 hours before our wedding was supposed to take place), I get a response. He replies:

"I appreciate the opportunity to perform your wedding ceremony. However, if you are unwilling to reword your vows, I will not be offended if you choose someone else to perform your wedding ceremony."

Chaos ensues. 48 hours before our wedding is supposed to take place, and we suddenly have no one to perform the actual ceremony. We (and by we, I specifically mean "I") were freaking out.

(Fruitcake and Mr. Fruitcake trying to come up with a solution)

Mr. Fruitcake said a lot of "Yes, Ma'ams" and started making phone calls. As did eleventy bajillion friends in 50 states. We probably called no less than 100 people, and in one memorable occasion, I even called the pastor of the lady who was working in Ann Taylor when I got the email via my Blackberry.

While this is going on and phone lines were spontaneously combusting, other wedding preparations are coming together.

My arbor, which Papa Fruitcake had custom built for me, arrived:

And my daisies arrived:

(Phone lines are still on fire at this point, as well as Facebook pleas and Twitter begging)

The months of purchasing, resulting in boxes of wedding paraphernalia, had been delivered to the Lodge, and were just waiting for us to set everything up.

Have I mentioned that we're now at 36 hours from the wedding? And we still have no one to perform the ceremony?

I take too many pictures

2010-01-02T22:07:00.005-06:00

2009 in Pictures

Mr. Fruitcake decided to make an honest woman out of me!

I watched Fruitcake Jr. grow up a little more every day

I conned Mr. Fruitcake into having engagement photos done.

We weren't really this cool...

We started a new Mardi Gras fashion trend...

Shook out the sillies to celebrate the upcoming wedding with some awesome ladies

Spent a lot of time at the park

Got married!!

Danced a million miles

Helped my best friends move really, really, really far away

Saw LOTS of corn between Mobile and Minot, ND

Made it to the not so magical Minot, North Dakota

Got to be a Fairy Godmother

Played in the rain

Saw my favorite pint-sized ball of fire turn TWO!

Dressed up as the Pacmans...

...and went trick or treating as Pippi Longstocking

Spent Christmas with the best sister-in-law ever

And hid three sneaky raccoons in a Christmas tree...

Here's to an awesome 2010!

recaps

2010-01-01T22:21:00.002-06:00

I haven't really posted much about our wedding, except the ceremony script, since we had so many people ask us for a copy of it.

I don't have words for how perfect mine and Mr. Fruitcake's wedding day ended up being. So many people donated their time, energy and love to making our day exactly what it was, and so much love and thought went into planning it that the day was a magical, beautiful May day that couldn't have been more perfect if we had tried.

I think that I may do a series of wedding recaps, similar to the recaps that so many bloggers over at WeddingBee do to chronicle their weddings. It'll be somewhat time consuming, but I think that I'll be glad that I did when it's all said and done. 10 years from now, it'll be nice to look back at the recaps with the photos and remember the entire day in that kind of detail.

The pictures will last forever, but the little details...those are the ones I don't want to forget...

lurve

2009-12-31T22:03:00.002-06:00

...i hereby resolutionize (yeah, it's a word. deal.) to not gain a bajillionty pounds in 2010 because of my new friend. I shall give away all baked goodies to friends and family.

a year in review

2009-12-31T13:38:00.000-06:00

In 2009:
I gained 20 lbs
Got engaged
Planned a wedding
Spent a lot of time with the most awesome toddler on the planet
Lost 25 lbs
Got married
Gained every pound back a week after the wedding
went BACK to SCHOOL (eek)
Learned more medical terminology than I ever thought possible
Changed my name
Made some really awesome new friends
Learned a HUGE (and awesome) secret
Got devastating news
Reevaluated what's important to me
Lived well, loved much, and laughed often...

2009 was a TOUGH year for so many people--a lot of people (myself included) had to reconsider everything that's important and make some major life changes. It was a year for friends and family. Here's to many happy memories in 2010, and for surviving 2009!

2009-12-28T21:54:00.000-06:00

I can't even think about going back to school. The idea of forging headlong into spring semester gives me the heebie jeebies and I can't even begin to wrap my mind around the idea that break ends next Wednesday. I'm somewhat enjoying the mind-numbing awesomeness from endless days spent babysitting and watching really (did I mention really) bad daytime television

I feel sort of like I'm back in high school again...

...And I love it :-)

why I'm MIA...

2009-10-28T08:16:00.002-05:00

Nursing school is kicking my rear end. Big time.

Flashback

2009-09-23T08:43:00.000-05:00

I found my old Xanga blog, and have slowly been importing those entries here. It's amazing to look back at years ago and laugh about the big, the small, the funny and the not-so-funny.

Wow.

I'll be moving them a couple at a time...i heart my TACA girls :-)

The words we live by

2009-09-17T14:54:00.002-05:00

So many people have asked us where we got the script for our wedding ceremony, and I love telling people that we wrote the majority of it ourselves. We've had several people ask us if we can use all or part of it for their own ceremony, and I could think of no higher compliment. All I ask is that if you do use it or someone you know uses it, just let me know!

On behalf of the Fruitcakes, I would like to welcome you and thank you for sharing this very special day with them. Your presence here is a visible expression of your love and respect for their decision to be joined in marriage.

Mr. and Mrs. Fruitcake, today you are surrounded by your family and friends as they gather to witness your marriage and share in the joy of this happy occasion.

Life is a story. It has a beginning, a middle, and an end. And, like a story, it is best experienced with the people you love. Everyone is here because they’re a part of Mr. and Mrs. Fruitcake’s story. Some of you are participating by the hours of preparation, some of you will be adding your voices to the ceremony, and some more will be participating by laughing and crying along with us. Also, I’m told there’s a kiss at the end.

First, a blessing.

Blessing (as read by Mr. Fruitcake's best friend, The Reverend)

God gifts us with more blessings than we can ever understand.

It is one of the grand ironies of being human: Such big brains, and so little comprehension of the gift of every moment.

But sometimes God makes it very easy for us. Sometimes we have experiences that transcend the circumstances of our daily lives and help us feel the gift of existence itself.

... like when the sun sets so beautifully that the world starts and ends in that moment.

... like when we glimpse into a babies eyes and are reminded of a truth we always knew.

... like when a dormant branch buds its perfect green leaves – teaching us its eternal cycle of spring renewal.

... or like when two beautiful, loving souls find one another, let their love blossom, and form a union of their lives.

This love is a gift from God. It is a gift to the universe.

The universe itself is made warmer and more loving by the path they walk together.

We are all blessed to be here, but the gift of this love doesn’t end at these walls or in the memories of the people here.

Like that perfect sunset casting brilliant color across the horizon, their loving union casts love across all our lives – reminding us of what this journey is all about.

We thank God for the opportunity to be here today to witness the union of Caitlin and Jason. May your love forever shine.

Officiant Continues:

Albert Einstein said: “Strange is our situation here upon Earth. Each of us comes for a short visit, not knowing why, yet sometimes seeming to a divine purpose. However, there is one thing that we do know, that we are here for the sake of others. Above all, for those upon whose smile and well-being our own happiness depends, and also for the countless unknown souls with whose fate we are connected by a bond of sympathy.”

And now, a reading from the bride’s best friend, Miss Ladybug

When I heard that Mr. and Mrs. Fruitcake were to be married, my first thought was, “I have to buy a new dress!”

Bringing a new dress into your life is not something to be taken lightly. There are a lot of things to consider, and you need to be very careful and thoughtful about your choice. Sure, you can see something in the window, draped ever so flatteringly on a mannequin, and think to yourself, “that is SO me.” Then you try it on for size, take it for a test drive, look in the mirror and realize, nope, this is so NOT me.

So you move on. There are racks and racks of dresses out there, friends. So many choices you can get dizzy or frustrated or depressed when you keep trying them on and they just don’t quite work. The fit is a little off, the color doesn’t compliment your eyes, stripes are out, too many or too few buttons on the jacket ... and that one make your butt look huge.

Huge.

Sometimes you wear something just because it’s convenient. You know it’s not exactly right, but you wear it anyway. And all the while you feel just a little uncomfortable, just the slightest bit ... wrong.

But every once in a while, and very rarely, you find something that is perfect. Once in a great while, it all comes together. It all falls into place. It all works.

All it takes is a little luck, like finding yourself in the right place, at the right time, having the patience to wait for the right one, and never losing hope that somewhere, out there, is the perfect dress for you.

Officiant Continues:

Marriage. It ranks right up there with birth and death as one of the three biggies in life. But it’s the only one that we’ll celebrate with a conscious awareness. Very few of you remember your arrival, and even fewer of you will attend your own funeral. Pick a society, any society: Jewish farmers 100 years ago in Poland, English émigrés to Canada, San Franciscan hipsters ... What’s the one thing they all have in common? Marriage. It’s like a cultural handrail. It links us to the past, and guides us to the future.

In Address to the Guests
I: As these two people are joined, so are their families and friends united through them. Mr. and Mrs. Fruitcake have chosen you, their friends and loved ones, to be here on this day as witnesses to their marriage. It has been their decision to bind themselves by marriage, and their lives will be strengthened and enriched by the support you give.

I: Friends, will you support Mr. and Mrs. Fruitcake in their marriage?
Friends: I will.

I: Will you celebrate with them, encourage them, remind them (as needed) of this day and the vows they will soon speak?
Friends: I will.

I: Family members, will you support Mr. and Mrs. Fruitcake in their marriage?
Family: I will.

I: Will you accept Mr. and Mrs. Fruitcake into your families, as one of your own?
Family: I will.

I: All of you, will you celebrate their marriage, standing beside them in rough times, yet never standing between them?
All: I will.

Always stand beside them, never between them. Offer them your love and your support
Not your judgment. Encourage them when encouragement is needed. And listen to them when they ask for advice. In these ways, you can honor this marriage into which they have come to be joined today

Officiate Continues:

Marriage is the union of disparate elements: male and female, yin and yang, proton and electron. What we’re talking about here is the very tension that binds the universe. When we look at marriage, we’re looking at creation itself.

You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes, to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making commitments in an informal way. All of those conversations that were held in a car, or over a meal, or during long walks – all those conversations that began with, “When we’re married”, and continued with “I will” and “you will” and “we will” – all those late night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe” – and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding.

The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, “You know all those things that we’ve promised, and hoped, and dreamed – well, I meant it all, every word.”Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another – acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, even teacher, for you have learned much from one another these past few years. Shortly you shall say a few words that will take you across a threshold of life, and things between you will never quite be the same.

For after today you shall say to the world –
This is my husband. This is my wife.

Officiate Continues:

The vows a bride and groom recite are a reflection of the people they are, and the love they share.

Mr. and Mrs. Fruitcake, repeat after me:

I will be honest, I will be loyal, I will be yours, I will be faithful, I will support you, I will lean on you, I will believe in you, I will believe in us, I will be your proud spouse. I will share my people, my life, my love, my pain, my brain, and my heart. I will look forward with you — not back — and I will choose you every day of my life. Together with our God, I ask for help to do and be the best that I can, for you, for us, for our new family.

Officiant Continues:

This is the point in the ceremony when I usually talk about the wedding bands being a perfect circle, having no beginning and no end. But we all know that these rings do have a beginning. Rock is dug up from the earth. Metal is liquefied in a furnace at a thousand degrees. Hot metal is poured into a mold, cooled, and then painstakingly polished. Something beautiful is made from raw elements.

Love is like that. It’s hot, dirty work. It comes from humble beginnings, made by imperfect beings. It’s the process of making something beautiful where there was once nothing at all.

With that in mind, may I have the rings?.

Mr. Fruitcake, place the ring on Mrs. Fruitcake’s finger and repeat after me:

Mrs. Fruitcake, I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you, in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit

Mrs. Fruitcake, place the ring on Mr. Fruitcake’s finger and repeat after me:

Mr. Fruitcake, I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you, in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit

Those whom God has joined together let no one put asunder.

“I am the sky,” says the Hindu bridegroom to the bride. “You are the earth. We are sky and earth united. You are my husband. You are my wife. My feet shall run because of you. My feet shall dance because of you. My heart shall beat because of you. My eyes see because of you. My mind think because of you. And I shall love because of you.”

May the road rise to meet you
May the wind be always at your back
May the warm rays of sun fall upon your home
and may the hand of a friend always be near

May God be with you and bless you;
May you see your children's children.
May you be poor in misfortune,
Rich in blessings.

May you know nothing but happiness
From this day forward.

Mr. and Mrs. Fruitcake, by the authority vested in me by the State of Alabama, it is my pleasure to pronounce you, before God and all of these witnesses here today, husband and wife.

Mr. Fruitcake, you may now kiss your bride.

Families and friends, it is with great pleasure I introduce you to Mr. and Mrs. Fruitcake.

Changing Tides

2009-09-15T08:59:00.001-05:00

Yesterday was such a weird day. I woke up in a blah mood (mostly because of the weather), but nothing out of the ordinary.

We covered the domestic violence chapter in our Assessment class yesterday, and as I was listening, I kept remembering my own experiences with the ER on 8/14/05 and hoping and praying that I would be a more compassionate, more understanding, less judgmental nurse than that one I was (un)fortunate enough to have that night. During class, I wasn't really upset, just very adamant that my classmates understood that domestic violence absolutely knows no boundaries. There is a stereotype (thanks, Jerry Springer) that is portrayed in the media, and that stereotype is a death sentence if we as a society can't get past it. There is no one "type" of person that is a victim of domestic violence. It could be an isolated incident, like mine, or it could be an ongoing pattern, but to have a specific picture in your head of what a victim looks like is dangerous, especially for someone who works in the health care industry.

But I digress. I was fine during that class, fine during lunch. But for whatever reason, every single action and reaction came flooding back while I was sitting in my afternoon class. it was like a brick had slammed into my head, and I was right back where I was nearly 5 years ago. It was absolutely astounding how much it took my breath away.

But then something awesome happened. A classmate approached me after class, not to pry but just to make sure I was ok. I gave her the two second version ("I'm a survivor of domestic violence, and this morning just brought it all back") and, with a smile and a hug, she told me her story. While in some ways similar, and in some ways completely different, talking to someone else who had been where I had been, who had seen what I had seen, made the whole day worthwhile. While I had gone through counseling and had met other women who had also walked away, meeting someone 5 years later in a "regular" setting and hearing her story was like a breath of fresh air and exactly what I needed at that time. God put her in my path, and for that I will forever be grateful.

And then, as I sat replaying the day to my husband, who has known the story since before we met, he hugged me and also said something I needed to hear. "Cait, it's like the death of your child--it's not something you ever forget, and it's not something that ever goes away, but it's something that shaped you, made you who you are." And he was so right--I hope and pray that if and when I'm ever confronted with a victim of domestic violence, I can draw on my own experiences and remember what it was like. And I hope and pray that she finds herself surrounded with the love, faith and hope that I am so very lucky to have in my life.

A New Addition!

2009-09-14T20:42:00.000-05:00

The Walters Family got a little bit bigger yesterday--

This isn't Cooper Cooper is a spazztard that won't sit still long enough to take a picture. This is, however, the closest picture I could find!

Jake...not so fond of Cooper. If looks could kill, Cooper wouldn't have lasted through the night.

Happy SEC game day!

2009-09-12T13:56:00.000-05:00

2009-09-12T13:50:00.001-05:00

I forgot I had a blog while I obsessed with myspace. But that's over now, so I'll post more regularly.

MRS. FRUITCAKE

2009-05-19T17:54:00.000-05:00

So...

I'm now officially Caitlin Walters, as of May 9, 2009. Thank you, thank you, thank you to each and every person who made our day exactly what we hoped it would be. The day was perfect, the weather was perfect, and everything played out better than we could have hoped. We were married surrounded by our families and friends in a ceremony that absolutely reflected us and our personalities, and an evening of laughs and good times.

I'll be uploading pictures shortly (my time got cut in half--I started back to school last week!), but please ake a minute to upload your picture to our shared photo site if you were at the wedding! I can't WAIT to see the pics from our photographers, either. The sneaky peeky that we've gotten so far makes both us us happy, happy, happy!

for the many, many people who have asked for a copy of the script of our wedding, it's also up on the same site. We wrote the ceremony with love, and we share it the same way. All I ask is that you let me know if you're going to use part of it (or all of it!).

Much love!

www.thewalterswedding.shutterfly.com

Password: walters

to the teachers

2009-02-03T17:55:00.001-06:00

I didn't quite realize how many friends I had that are teachers.

And I didn't realize how much love, care, and patience they put into what they do.

Even the worst of my teachers growing up ("y'all are bright-eyed, bushy-tailed and ready for the streets, go partay late at night and sleep through my class...." sorry. I digress.) spent hours preparing lesson plans and having the background knowledge to get through the class,

And the best teachers---they're the ones that made going to school worth it. Mrs. Ritchie, Mrs. Moore, Sra. Skidmore, Mrs. Brown, Mr. Threadgill, and even Father Williams for senior seminar (oh, Irish Lit and Drama, how I loathed thee...but listening to your really old records was pretty awesome. And having class at an Irish pub even awesome--er.) ...it was so obvious that these teachers absolutely loved what they did, loved the subject they taught, and they put their heart and soul into what they did.

So here's to you, my awesomely awesome teacher friends. I hope that the kids you teach enjoy your classes as much as I enjoyed some of my favorites. I hope that the kids you teach one day look back on you as I do some of my favorites, and that, in later years, those kids come back to visit you at school.

Thanks.

it was fun when WE did it

2009-01-22T17:56:00.000-06:00

Ooooh, being a child. Everything is exciting, and different, and new, and fun.

Or a disastrous mess!!

If my mom has ever sat down with you for more than 15 minutes, you know that the highlight of my childhood "disasters" occurred when I was about 2. Mom noticed that the house had gotten too quiet, as is often the case when a child is doing something that THEY think is great fun, but obviously something they shouldn't be doing.

In my case, I had discovered eggs. More specifically, I had figured out how to open the refrigerator and was systematically pulling out a single egg, holding it above my head, and laughing with hysterical glee as soon as it inevitably "splatted" on the ground. I had repeated this process about 6 times before my mom found me, the eggs, and the slippery, icky mess on her floor.

Well, history has a way of repeating itself.

Today, the house got quiet, as happens when Miss Makayla gets involved in something she shouldn't be. When I found her, she was painting the floors, the dogs, herself, the fridge and the oven with butter. The big, giant, got-it-on-sale-at-Winn Dixie tub o' butter. She was steadily eating butter with one hand and swirling it around with the other. It was in her hair, her eyelashes, her ears. It was a giant greasy mess on the floor. It was all OVER BOTH dogs.

oooooooh, childhood. Payback's a bitch.

disaster in the making

2009-01-07T17:57:00.000-06:00

I am unexpectedly turning into my worst nightmare.

When we first started talking, it was a simple thing--a short and sweet ceremony followed by dinner, drinking and dancing the night away with our closest friends and family.

Then...oh, then...I actually started the planning. And I realized that even the simple things are far more complicated than I imagined. Just the ceremony, dinner, drinking and dancing with our closest friends and family is turning into a way bigger project than I imagined--caterers, photographers, djs, table arrangements, flowers...it's just a crapload of stuff that i want to quit thinking about. I was all about a short engagement, mostly because we already live together and just want to be married already, and even if we had planned for 3 years from now, I still would have put everything off until 4 months out......which is exactly where we are now. But I'm finding myself drowning in giant white dresses with butt bows and a mile of tulle and organza and styles that i didn't even know existed. (Mermaid? That's a fishy woman-thing that fits in with unicorns and a yetti, not a dress. Apparently, I was wrong about that.)

Don't get me wrong, I'm certainly looking forward to May 9th, but I'm slowly losing my sanity in the process. I want to wave a magic wand (one with a big blinking star on the top) and everything magically fall into place and not have to spend eleventy thousand hours on the phone calling everyone from here to Taiwan. I want everyone whom I love and who loves me and everyone that JW loves and who loves him to magically show up without having to address and send invitations that cost more than a small country that people (except for those crafty scrapbooky people who actually have an artistic bone) are just going to throw away. I want centerpieces to magically create themselves and food to just show up. I want to not have to call Meg and Emily 4000000000 times with everything from a crisis to shoelaces.

And most importantly, I want to survive this without JW taking a blunt object to the back of my head.

I know that once the vendors are set, I'll be in a better position that doesn't involve this much stress, but I'm ready to be there already :-)

Oh, and those big white dresses? Found it :-)

BIG NEWS!

2009-01-04T17:57:00.000-06:00

I'm GETTING MARRIED!!!

May 9, 2009 :-)

traitor?

2008-12-17T17:58:00.000-06:00

I have a near and dear friend--we'll call her Mandy for the sake of her privacy--who is up in arms about a comment a "feminist" made to her yesterday.....she was called a "traitor."

Mandy is a single mom of three children. She's not a single mom by most standards, in that she's a single mom via the death of her spouse in an automobile accident. But three small children (her oldest is 9) means a lot of food on the table, and her job in real estate wasn't paying the bills.

Last summer, Mandy landed a job as an "adult" entertainer. She's not a stripper, she's at home every night with her children, and she doesn't even drink, much less use any illegal substance. Mandy is a porn starlet for "indie" films and direct-to-video productions. Oh, she also brings home nearly a half a million dollars a year.

Mandy has always been one to defend her choices, and though she's quiet about what she does to those who may not know her well (those hailing from the Deep South understand why...), she is open and honest about what she does, usually telling people that she's an actress and leaving it at that (which in itself is true--she's had a few minor roles in commercials and such.)

So it completely caught her off guard to be called a "traitor." Mandy is a woman who put herself through college and a master's program in business, so this is no "last resort" bunny we're talking about. Mandy is a smart woman, a woman who has made business decisions for herself that have made a home for her and her children and will provide for them long into the future. She still drives the same Passat she drove before she started making more money, she and her children live in a sensible home, and her children attend public schools. Is she a traitor to the "feminist movement" by providing for her and her family rather than trying to find another man to pay the bills? Is she a traitor for quickly making more than many of us make in a lifetime? Is she a traitor because she was able to secure a job where SHE makes nearly twice as much as her male counterpart, in a society where women are still trying to break even with men?

I'm damn proud of her and what she's accomplished, regardless of whether or not the films that she makes are off the beaten track. She was able to do what so many women in America haven't gotten around to doing, and that's providing for her family without the assistance of the government or someone else's tax dollars.

National Domestic Violence Month

2008-10-10T17:59:00.000-05:00

Everyone knows that October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. A lesser publicized fact remains that October is also Domestic Violence Awareness month.

Domestic violence against women is the number one cause of injuries to women--more than car crashes, muggings and rapes combined. But when you look at the above list, one thing doesn't belong. In car crashes, muggings and rapes, the other party is (generally speaking) unknown, not a person that a woman comes into contact with on a normal basis.

Domestic violence, though...domestic violence is only within the confines of a dating or married relationship--someone that the woman knows, that the woman trusts, and generally, that the woman loves. Domestic violence and abuse occurs in the context of what is supposed to be a private relationship, and that privacy, that belief that what happens behind closed doors should stay there, only perpetuates the cycle of violence.

It's time that women (and men) break that cycle. It's time to refuse to allow to see our mothers, sisters, daughters, aunts, and best friends become trapped in an abusive relationship. It's time to refuse to let violence that happens behind closed doors stay behind closed doors. It's time.

I wish, for every woman that has been and for every woman that ever will be, a Laura Leighty. I wish that everyone has a friend that refuses to give up on you and refuses to let the cycle continue, that believes in you and your potential to heal and recover and learn and have a chance to find real, true, honest love.

Anyone can become a victim--abuse knows no age, race, religious, sexual orientation, gender, socioeconomic background...abuse knows no boundaries. It's so vitally important to be aware. Know your friends, and listen to what she says. If you suspect abuse, let her know you're concerned. Sometimes, just a clear voice of reason is enough to end an potentially dangerous situation. Most often though, the situation gets worse before it gets better. Never turn your back on a friend in trouble, and know the warning signs. Not knowing is a death sentence.

It's time to blow the doors open on the privacy that surrounds abuse. It's time to break the cycle and break the silence. Those that have a voice need to speak up for the so many women that don't or can't.

For more information, visit The National Domestic Violence Hotline

For locally-minded folks, Penelope House is a wonderful resource for women in need. Penelope House Crisis Hotline is 251-342-8994

PSA

2008-08-22T18:01:00.000-05:00

This morning, I learned that a college classmate and friend—a young, vibrant, 27-year-old SHC Badger, class of 2004—passed away from breast cancer. She had been battling the disease for nearly 2 years, but by the time she and her doctors realized that she had breast cancer, it was so far advanced that the odds were stacked against her. Khrysten Encalarde lost her battle with breast cancer because too many people believe that screening and detection doesn't need to happen until a woman is 40, the age when the majority of women begin having mammograms. For that matter, many insurance policies won't cover a mammogram until a woman is 40 years old. But evidence shows that young women are at as much risk as their older counterparts, and in fact, may be at more of a risk because of the lack of detection techniques.

Despite the prevailing opinion that young women don't get breast cancer, the reality is that they can and they do. In fact, one in every 229 women between the ages of 30 and 39 will be diagnosed with breast cancer within the next 10 years. Following are some additional startling facts about breast cancer in young women:

Breast cancer is the leading cause of cancer death in young women ages 15-54.
More than 11,100 women under age 40 will be diagnosed with breast cancer this year, and more than 1,100 will die.
There are more than 250,000 women living in the United States today who were age 40 or under when they were diagnosed with breast cancer.
Young women's cancers are generally more aggressive and result in lower survival rates.
The five-year survival rate for young women with breast cancer is 82 percent, which is lower than their post-menopausal counterparts.

Young women CAN and DO get breast cancer. While breast cancer in young women accounts for a small percentage of all breast cancer cases, the impact of this disease is widespread: There are more than 250,000 women 40 and under in the

U.S.

living with breast cancer, and over 11,100 young women will be diagnosed in the next year. But, despite the fact that breast cancer is the leading cause of cancer death in women ages 15 to 54:

Many young women and their doctors are unaware that they are at risk for breast cancer.
There is no effective breast cancer screening tool for women 40 and under.
Young women are often diagnosed at a later stage than their older counterparts.
There is very little research or educational material focused on issues unique to this younger population, such as fertility, pregnancy, genetic predisposition, the impact of hormonal status on the effectiveness of treatment, psycho-social and long-term survivorship issues, and higher mortality rates for young women, particularly for African-Americans and Latinas.
Young women diagnosed with breast cancer often feel isolated and have little contact with peers who can relate to what they are experiencing.
As the incidence of young women with breast cancer is much lower than in older women, young women are underrepresented in many research studies.

I write to you because it is vitally important that women know their bodies and know their risk factors. Make it a point to do a self-exam every month. It is important that you choose the same time each month, as your breast tissue changes throughout the month. If you're not already in the habit, make it a point to start this month. The best defense you have is early detection.

Breast Self-Exam

Three Years

2008-08-14T18:02:00.000-05:00

So much can change in three years.

August 14, 2005 was, without question, the worst day of my life.

One year later, the scars were still brutally open, the wounds not even close to being healed.

Two years later, I had closure. I took him to court with my best friend by my side, and found peace in justice.

Three years later, I have a boyfriend who remembered before I did, and has gone out of his way to show (and not just tell) me that that loves me and is thinking about me. I have let someone fully into my heart, and I am thankful every day that I did.

So very much has changed since then. I am lucky to be alive, lucky to have wonderful family and friends, and lucky to be very much in love with someone who is very much in love with me. I have a fantastic job, a beautiful niece, a grown-up baby brother, a home of my own, a halfway-retarded dog, and a cup running over with love and happiness.

Thank you.

somethin fishy in Beijing

2008-08-13T18:03:00.000-05:00

While there is an obvious bias because I would have loved for our American gymnasts to come home with gold after last night's competition, I now have to wonder if the Chinese women really are too young to compete in the Olympic competition.

First, there were the fireworks during the opening ceremony, which have now been revealed to have been digitially altered by the host country.

The there was the case of the little girl lip-syncing because her voice wasn't good enough, and the girl whose voice WAS good enough wasn't "cute enough."

And now the age contraversy. I'm sorry, but only one of the girls on the Chinese team even remotely looked old enough to be 16. I wouldn't be surprised at all to learn that the rumors are true and that the Chinese girls are truly 14, as websites that have now been blocked by Chinese authorities claim they are. In past competitions, Jiang Yuyuan and He Kexin have been listed as 14 years old, born in 1994. Suddenly, their passports, both issued this year, state that they were born in 1992, which would, in fact, make them legal to compete this year.

Normally, I wouldn't have paid any attention to the controversy, as anyone watching the competition last night knows that the Chinese outperformed our American team. But in light of the other deceptions that the host country has already pulled, it makes the age of the gymnasts stand out that much more. If the girls truly are underage, it therefore makes them ineligible for competition AND it makes the Chinese guilty of cheating by doctoring documents to allow these girls to compete.

Just by looking at the Chinese team in comparison to EVERY other team in competition, the girls look like babies. One girls even has front teeth missing. I know that appearances can be decieving, but not one of them even slightly resembles a teenaged girl. They look like the children a teenaged girl would be babysitting.

Do I know something for certain? No. But the fact remains that FIG, the Federation Internationale de Gymnastique, which is the governing body for international gymnastics, has ignored published proof that the girls are too young to compete in senior-level competition.

Grammar gets under my skin

2008-07-09T18:04:00.000-05:00

I was listening to Katy Perr'y "I Kissed a Girl" for the eleventy billionth time, when the line, right smack dab in the middle of the song, blares out, "Us girls, we are so magical..."

Us girls? Really? The song lost a little of its sparkle for me. No, seriously. The bad grammar bothered me that much.

Fine, I'll admit it. I am a grammar snob. I love long walks on the beach, caramel appletinis and proper punctuation. My text messages frequently hit the character max thanks to appropriately inserted commas and apostrophes. After all, using a cell phone is no reason to leave a subordinate clause hanging.

My studies as an English major have only exacerbated my affliction, and it has become impossible for me not to hear the glaring lyrical errors embedded in even the catchiest tune. Now, I appreciate the fact that every note and lyric must be crafted exclusively to fit a given song. I also realize that my best friend's older brother would never have blasted "If you are having girl problems, I feel badly for you, son. I have 99 problems, but a woman is not one of them" out of his convertible in 2000. However, there is a fine line between poetic license and sloppiness; it is the difference between Something Corporate's "If U C Jordan," which delivers an artistic (if crass) message, and the Pussycat Dolls' alphabetical disaster, "Stickwitu."

I could always picture my eighth grade English teacher shuddering at 702's single "Where My Girls At," which hit the airwaves around the same time. She (who made us memorize every preposition! "In, on, into, over, under, to, at, by, for…") would have demanded that the pesky little "at" get off the end of the phrase and convert to its rightful "are" in the process. Rival-band TLC didn't do much better. "I don't want no scrubs" is essentially an invitation to bring 'em on, thanks to a double-negative.

Gwen Stefani delivered a serious blow to the subjunctive when she feminized "Fiddler on the Roof's" once A+ song and sang, "If I was a rich girl" (No doubt she took her lead from "What If God Was One of Us"). Oh, Gwen, you was wrong.

I've been waiting for someone to fall into the apostrophe trap, and R. Kelly is my man. "Playa's only" … the playa's only what?

While I'm sure that middle-school girls everywhere got wind of Kelis' proclaimed possession of the best milkshake, have they figured out that they can't like, use "like" as a substitute for like, "said"?

The Backstreet Boys question subject/verb agreement in "All I Have to Give" when they implore, "Does his gifts come from the heart?" and "Does his friends get all your time?" I don't know. Does they?

Fergie abandons noun/pronoun agreement altogether as one child magically multiplies: "And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket," but she's gotta get a move on to inserting an extra "e" in "T, to the A, to the S-T-E-Y/Girl you tastey." Now spell check can correct that for all eternity, but at least Gwen taught everyone how to spell "bananas."

My favorite grammar gaff might be when the normally grammar-conscious Justin Timberlake uses the line, "When you cheated, girl/My heart bleeded, girl" in "What Goes Around.../...Comes Around." Needed? Defeated? So many other fish in the sea, JT.

Yet the rhyme scheme trophy goes to R. Kelly for his hip hopera, Trapped in the Closet: "Then he opens the dresser (dresser)/He looks at the closet (closet)/I pull out my Beretta (Beretta)/He walks up to the closet (closet)/He comes up to the closet (closet)/Now he's at the closet (closet)/Now he's opening the closet..." Why bother to rhyme the word when you can just repeat the original? Had R. Kelly employed this simple technique throughout, we'd have been spared the Bridgets and midgets.

In "Make it Rain," R. Kelly spotlights with, "See I order one bottle/Then I f*ck with one model/Then I order more bottles/Now I got more models." I'll give Kells a break here and let his use of "got" slide since he's done such a good job keeping track of his plurality of models/bottles and has followed such a sensible turn of logic.

In the end, I understand that what is being said is much more important than how it is delivered. And the fact is, even the most poorly written lyrics still read better than a good portion of chem. majors' papers. I understand the Grammar War is an uphill battle; yet even underneath layers of music, my ear will always recoil from the piercing battle cry, "We don't need no education!"

Words to live by

2008-07-01T18:06:00.000-05:00

Thanks, Oprah. Words to live by. Several of my friends could take heart in this right now.

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

If you have ANY doubt in your mind about a man's character, leave him alone.

Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. .

Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

Have faith in God/Goddess/Great Spirit/The Universe regarding your relationship, but don't let faith make you stupid. God/Goddess/Great Spirit/The Universe does things decent and in order.

Don't settle.

Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

There's only one 'reason' a man dumps you; he doesn't want you.

Always put yourself and your happiness first.

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.

Like from the show Sex and the City, if he doesn't call, he just isn't that interested.

Know when to cut the cord, don't be strung along

Don't fall for the "I'm confused role". Remove yourself from the situation to let him figure things out (but don't wait for him, move on).

If you want to have a clue as to how he will treat you, watch how he treats the WOMEN in his family (not just mom).

Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Actions speak louder than words.

Never let a man define who you are.

If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

Just because he says he loves you, doesn't mean that he won't hurt you and it doesn't mean that you are meant to be with him.

Know that you deserve to be the number one person in the life of the 1 person in your life.

Love is a verb.

Learn to give up your lifelong task of trying to make someone unavailable-available, someone ungiving-giving, and someone unloving-loving.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

If you don't love self...you can't love anyone else.

You cannot mend someone else's broken heart

You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage...deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary..

NEVER give more in a relationship than you are getting out of it.

When actions and words conflict, believe the actions. Respond to the actions.

Don't fall for the "I'm not the loving type"...when a man loves you there is nothing in this world (within reason) that he wouldn't do for you.

Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him he takes it for granted..

When it's time to let go; let go.

Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Never believe a man that tells you he want to be with you, while he's with someone else, - if he wanted to be with you, he would make it happen more sooner than later.

Don't be a man's door mat , make him open the door for you, because a real man would do this on his own.

There is someone out there worthy to be in your life, let out the trash so he can come in.

Karma's a bitch

2008-04-09T18:07:00.000-05:00

What goes around, comes around.

I’ve always said it, and I’ve always half-heartedly believed it.

Now?

100% believe it.

Why?

I got a phone call this morning.

Most everyone knows that I was a victim of domestic violence years ago. Thankfully and blessedly, I was (and am) surrounded by people who pulled me out of the cycle that so many women (and children) find themselves trapped in, and several years later, I am completely in love with a man who loves me, cherishes me and treats me the way I deserve to be treated. But I digress.

The phone call. The guy who had put me in the hospital several years ago was now in the hospital with a concussion, a broken ribs, a fractured skull, collapsed lung, and a long, long list of other injuries. He was on life support until this morning when he was able to breathe on his own. His sister was the one who called me, and she let me know that he was in really bad shape--unrecognizable even to his family.

How did he end up like that?

He had stolen his sister’s car (who has an 8 month old baby girl to care for) and gone to Prichard to...well. You know why a white boy from Daphne would be in Prichard. Apparently, he said the wrong thing to the wrong somebody, and that wrong somebody let him have it. And have it. And have it. And that wrong somebody left him for dead on the side of the road.

I don’t mean to be a callous as I may sound. I empathize for his family, and I wouldn’t wish for anyone to have to see their child beaten this badly. But from my perspective, it’s karma’s way of coming back around. Someday, somehow, the pain that you inflict on others will come back threefold and catch you completely unaware and off guard.

Karma’s a bitch, ain’t it?

random

2008-02-22T18:08:00.000-06:00

I'm in a completely random mood.

1. "Swobe" is a word. Google it. As in, "That is the fugliest swobe I have ever seen." (sweater + robe = swobe.) And yes, I own one...or 3.

2. I am so farking tired of cold weather. Bring me sunshine...please. I am tired, tired, tired of south Alabama's excuse for winter.

3. I am currently obsessed with powerade's new pink lemonde flavor.

4. I don't want to go to Enterprise this weekend. Funerals give me the heebies.

5. Last night, CSI was on not one, not two, not three, but FOUR different channels at the same time. Two were Miami, two were LV. Seriously.

6. I am completely addicted to the First 48 on A&E. And I can't wait for the start of the new DEA show. I'm a dork.

7. I want Makayla to have every opportunity in the world to be happy and successful. I wish my sister would realize what a gift she's been given with Squirrel.

8. St. Patty-cake-day is almost here :-) Yes, there will be green feathers in abundance. And green beer. Lots of it, since it coincides with two things:
1. Arts and Crafts weekend
2. Saturday :-)
Did you know the Catholic church had St. Pat's moved this year from Monday back to Saturday?

9. I don't think I'm going to be up to running a 10K in Memphis. But I'll be cheering like a good girlfriend from the sidelines with a Blue Moon in my hand.

Carnival

2008-02-04T18:11:00.000-06:00

Even though I was battling the sinus monster from hell and felt like poo by the end of carnival season, I think this year may go down in my book as one of my top 5 Mardi Gras years ever.

I didn't parade as much as I usually do, mostly due to the fact that Mardi Gras season kicked off a mere 2 weeks after the beginning of 2008. Who wants to catch moon pies and beads when you're just coming down off of the holiday rush??

But I caught up and paraded my little heart out with the jam-packed weekend preceding Fat Tuesday.

And JW. Bless his heart--I told him a month or so ago about a "costume party" ball that we go to every year. He jumped in with both feet and only asked one thing...."Can I paint my face green??" He hammed it up as the Wicked Witch of the West for our fantastically awesome rendition of the the cast of Oz. And lo and behold, he walked away as "Queen of Mari Masquers." He'll never live it down :-)

And Joe Cain...it's one of my favorite days of the entire year. It's like an all day tailgating party that people ride by and throw stuff at you.

I'm just rambling, because I hate to see another Mardi Gras season go by, but lordy, I had a great time.

Time to pack up the beads, masks, and costumes til next year...

Dauphin Island Four

2008-02-01T18:11:00.000-06:00

Last night, my neighborhood held a candlelight vigil for the four children that were thrown from the top of the Dauphin Island Bridge in Bayou La Batre. It was sincerely creepy, as my neighbor's very young daughter started crying amid the silence and was calling for her daddy. Being that the reason for the vigil in the first place was because a father murdered his four children, the fact that she was the only voice in the night...it weirded me out.

Not five minutes later, we were watching the news, trying to catch the weather report for today. The weather report--i had the change the channel once i caught wind of what dear old John Edd was saying--was not your typical marine forecase. No, it was a marine forecast centered on the directions the bodies of the children were being carried by the tides. Complete with pinpoint locations of where the 3 bodies had already been found and the search area of where the 4th should have drifted. (Let me add here that the "4th body" is that of a two year old little girl.) I had the change the channel.

It's been a long time since a news story has upset me this way. Four children, all under the age of 5, one not even seeing his first birthday, thrown from a 95ft high bridge into freezing January water in a location known for both heavy marine traffic and marine life. Even on the off chance that one or all of the children had survived the fall, the alligators that fill the water around that area wouldn't have left much behind.

What kind of sick bastard is Lam Luong? What kind of sick bastard throws all of his children off a bridge because he and his wife got into an argument? What kind of sick bastard tells authorities that "he wants to be famous like the Virgina Tech shooter"? What kind of sick bastard takes away the life of four beautiful, innocent children...for what?

I hope that , for once, the justice system gets things right with this sick and twisted man. I hope that all of the pain and suffering of the four children, their mother, their family and friends is inflicted on this pathetic excuse for a human being. May he feel what they feel a thousand-fold. May the fiery depths of hell be deemed to pleasant a condition for you.

God bless the search crews, the rescue teams, the duck hunters who found the first body, the many residents of Bayou La Batre, Dauphin Island, Mobile County and the Gulf Coast for helping out in whatever capacity you've been able. Peace and healing to the family--especially the mother--of the Dauphin Island Four. And most importantly, hope and love to the four innocents who lost their lives at the hands of someone that they should have been able to count on the most.

tagged

2008-01-20T18:09:00.000-06:00

Once you've been tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 weird, random things, habits, or goals about yourself. At the end, chose 10 people to be tagged , listing their names and why you chose them. Don't forget to leave them a comment (Tag! You're it!) and a note to read your blog. You can't tag the person who tagged you, but let them know when you've posted so they can check out your answers.

MMMMMMMkay...Rach tagged me, so here goes.

1. I'm very particular about alarm clocks...actually, digital clocks in general. I hate anything but red displays. Green and blue and that weird icky greenish/yellowish color irritate me.

2. My feet are two completely different sizes. I wear an 8 on my left foot and a 7 on my right. I have been known to go to Wal-Mart or Target and buy shoes for the basic reason that I can switch out shoes have a (mis)matched pair.

3. I have social anxiety disorder. It's like pulling teeth to get me out of my house sometimes. But once I'm whereever I was fighting to go, I'm fine. ANd I usually have a great time. Along those same lines, crowds of people (i.e. Jordan Hare Stadium at halftime trying to get to the women's bathroom, Mardi Gras crowds in general, Bayfest, etc.) give me the heebie jeebies.

4. I scored a perfect score in both reading comprehension and grammar on my ACT :-). But I scored a 17 in math.

5. I love boy names for little girls, like Ryan, Michael, and Alden (and Charlie!). I DON'T like girls names for boys...Ashley and Courtney are not names for boys.

6. I love fried bologna on a homemade oatmeal raisin cookie :-)

7. I am a bathroom and automobile rock STAR. I rival the best of the best with my singing and dancing shenanigans jamming along with the radio. Hairbrushes make excellent microphones, as do curling irons, to-go cups from fast food places, and Sunkist bottles.

8. Hot dogs are the most vile creation ever. Just the smell of a hot dog makes me gag. ESPECIALLY the ones that are bright, bright freakishly red. They should not be regarded as a food product. However, sausage dogs are a whole 'nother story....'specially when they have sauteed peppers and onions.

9. I envy people who've "got it all together" sometimes. I live in a perpetual state of chaos. Soccer moms with their color-coded calendars are like aliens to me.

10. I actually LIKE fruitcake.

And now...to tag:

1. Geoff...because your answers are always witty and interesting.
2. Stephanie--because we always steal stuff like this from each other.
3. Christen--because I can!
4. Kelly--because what good is family if we can't annoy each other?
5. Chris--because you won't do it...
6. Courntey--because you will...
7. Mark--because your last blog BLOCKED me...
8. Adrian--because it's interesting...
9. Lindz--because I need another E-Sho girl doing this...
and
10. Laura--because I'm spreading the love...
AAAAND...
11. Melissa. To alleviate the hell that is boredom :-)

Thank heaven for little girls

2007-10-15T18:18:00.000-05:00

I can't even describe the miracle of Makayla's birth. Watching my sister go from hardcore party child to Makayla's mama in a matter of several seconds was unbelievable. Not to mention the sheer miracle that is the birth of a child.

My niece, Makayla Jewel Anthony, was born Friday, 10/12/2007 at 6:55 pm. 7 lbs, 13 oz and 20 inches of complete perfection, I didn't know I could love a baby like I love this kid...and she's not even mine. She looks like both Amber and Jesse, but her attitude is all Harold.

Mom and Miss Makayla both came home from the hospital yesterday, and both are doing fine :-) Thank you to everyone who has called, come by, stopped by the hospital or otherwise gone out of your way to make Miss Makayla's birthday special.

If you want the whole photo experience, you can check it out here:

www.kodakgallery.com/catrelle83

ishkabibble

2007-10-10T18:19:00.000-05:00

Still no baby. I am so ready for my niece to be here. Michayla...HURRY UP and GET HERE! The doctor is going to induce Amber a week from today if we don't have a mini-munchkin by then.

Alden...WAR DAMN EAGLE!! Engineering will never be the same again.

My head hurts. I am so f-ing tired of the b.s. going on right now.

In other news, I'm running (with JW) in the Cherry Blossom run in April. He's training for the marathon (I think), and I'm going to attempt the 10K. It's the first serious competitve event that I've trained for since high school, so I'm kind of excited about it. Not to mention it's a trip to D.C. and a chance to see some friends I haven't seen in a hot minute *cough Chris cough Anneliese cough Brady* while we're there.

Dove shoot last weekend---SO much fun. Dove shoot this weekend--possibly even more fun. I am so incredibly lucky to surround myself with the people that I do.

I started writing again last week. It's not to publicly share, but I'm pretty pleased with how things are shaping up.

This is all over the place...I need caffeeeeeeine.

There is actually a book called the Biography of the Moonpie. Nicole, I don't know why, but it reminded me of you. Irritatingly, it doesn't mention Mardi Gras?

Some days you're the windshield, some days you're the bug. I think I'm the bug these days.

Nappy time yet?

I miss my godson. (his parents aren't half-bad, either.) I need to go to FWB ASAP.

Right-o. Decisions, decisions.
Much love from a very jumbled Fruitcake.

le sigh

2007-09-11T18:20:00.000-05:00

I wanted to post a blog about September 11th and how I think it's completely wrong that we're not doing anything as a country to memorialize the date that changed everything in America. I really did. I wanted to rant and rave about the government, I wanted to praise our military, with a special shout out to my boys and girls serving overseas or that have been overseas--Tim, Matt, Cody, Ann, Joe...there are so many more of you that I didn't name.

But instead, I'm stuck. I'm stuck thinking about Britney tramptastic Spears and her "comeback" at the VMAs. But unlike the myriads of reports focusing on how horrible her performance was and how horrible she looked in the outfit she had chosen to perform in, I'm blown away.

I'm blown away by the thousands of editorials touting a young woman who, in the last 3 years has given birth twice, as grotesquely fat. If SHE, whose body I would gladly eat my right arm to have as it stands right now, is America's definition of "fat," we can all throw in the towel right now.

What kind of message is this sending to young girls--girls who watch the VMAs and are listening to what the media has to say? Are we telling them that only women who embody Mary Kate Olsen are considered "in"? That skeletal, waif-like women, who probably haven't had a period in months because their bodies are starved, whose hair is falling out because of lack of nutrition, whose skin and hair is lackluster at best--THESE are the women that our younger generation should be looking up to?? That our 5th, 6th, and 7th graders should aspire to look like Nicole Ritchie? That anorexia and bulimia is the way to go?

Britney may not have looked like the 17-year-old pop tart she once was. Guess what, folks? She's not 17 anymore, either. The Pop Princess is now a mother of two, and I think most women, especially those who are mothers themselves, would agree that Britney looks damn good for being a new mother the second time around.

Wake up, people. This Catch-22 that we keep our daughters in--it's taking a toll on their self-esteem. Sure, Britney may not be an ideal role model, but no one is perfect--those in Hollywood so hell-bent on casting doubt and shame on her doubtless are thanking their lucky stars that the attention is on her and not on them.

And personally, I would much rather see a healthy Britney prancing (trudging?) onstage than Mary Kate Olsen or Nicole Ritchie.

If Britney Spears is fat, I'll eat my socks.

2 years

2007-08-14T18:21:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow marks two years since the most life-changing ordeal I have ever gone through. It's become a catalyst for a lot of changes in my life, a reason to put things in perspective, and, looking back, has made me truly become the persont that I am today.

A year ago, the wounds were still raw and bleeding. My heart was not only broken, it was surrounded by a concrete castle wall, reinforced with barbed wire, and then electrified with "no trespassing" signs everywhere. I had come a long way, but I had no idea how far I still had to go. I still felt like I had failed myself, that I had somehow taken the wrong path, that things like "that" weren't supposed to happen to girls like "me." My confidence was shaken, my self-worth was at an all-time low, my outlook on life, though improving, was still less than positive, and my view on men...well. I would have been content in a world in which men didn't exist at that point. I was afraid of trusting anyone except my immediate family, and even then I was on shaky ground. I was making strides in educating others on the dangers of domestic violence, but I had not yet realized my passion for telling my story in the hopes that I touch one life, one heart, help one person.

I found my closure. In May, I took Adam to court, where I was able to tell my story to judge and jury. I didn't get exactly the sentence I was aiming for, but nonetheless, I was able to find a sense of peace in knowing that he's finally paying for what he did to me and, though he can never give me back my sense of security or the innocence that was lost, I finally felt the scars begin to fade a little in knowing that he is finally paying a pennance for what he did to me, and what he did to Adrian before me, and what he could have done to someone else after me.

I found my safe haven.

To Emily, who I couldn't have made it without. To Tim and Alisha, who dropped everything to be with me when I needed them most andhave never let me drop the ball on our friendship. To Laura, who forced me, time and again, to see the truth. To Meg, who has been an unfailing pillar of strength, love, and support. To Julia, who has amazed me with her gifts of friendship. To Nia, who...well. You just have to know Nia. I am her protege :-) To Amber, my baby sister, who I love more that she'll ever know, and who is going to make a wicked-fierce mama in about 6 weeks. (strangely enough, this has been the catalyst that brought us together.....finally). To David, for challenging me. To the J-squad, for being my unending source for laughs when I needed them most. To Anneliese, Courtney, Kelli and Chris, for umpteen years of friendship spanning many, many, many miles. To the so many people who have held my hand when I needed a friend, to the so many that have hugged me in support, to the so many of you who have told me that you're proud of me, thank you. To my mom and dad, and to my brudder ('tard), I love you more than I could ever, ever express. Lastly, but certainly not least, to JW...for tripping me and letting me fall, but catching me with a green sharpie in hand. Where've you been?

Five years ago, I couldn't have imagined that life would have taken the course that it has, and I don't know that I would change it. Yes, it has been excruciatingly painful at times, and yes, I wish that I hadn't had to go through some of the things that I've faced. But they've made me who I am, and though I don't like them, I appreciate them for the life-altering effects. I am conscious of every breath I take, of every day on earth, because no one is ever guaranteed another. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and if I love you, you know it, because I say it often. I live my life with no holds barred, with a zeal and zest for life that only comes from truly knowing the deepest pain and sorrow.

My mom has always said, "To know the greatest joy, you must first know the deepest sorrow. Pain and grief carves grooves in the soul that only joy and love can fill." Mama was right. I am, for the first time perhaps ever, truly, truly, truly happy. Sure, there are ups and downs, but I am completely at peace with my world and all that's in it.

Life is beautiful.

Live, laugh, and love...
...Caitlin

2007-08-01T18:27:00.000-05:00

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I can't even begin to know what you're going through, as I've never lost a parent. But please know that I'm behind you when you need strenght, beside you when you need a shoulder, and ahead of you when you just can't lead.

I love you always. More than 10 years and more than a 1,000 miles don't dimish the bonds of friendship, and more than ever, I give you whatever I can offer. I can't take away the pain, and I can't change things, but I can be there in whatever capacity you need me.

Caitlin

Cloud 9

2007-07-19T18:28:00.000-05:00

Anyone who knows me for more than 2.5 seconds knows that domestic violence is my soapbox. It's the one topic that I can talk about for hours, the one topic that i feel needs to be addressed in every town, every city, every state.

Anyway, I don't want to go into all that I feel about the actual issue. Rather, I'm still on cloud 9 from Tuesday night.

Most know that I went to court in May. It was a sense of closure for me, a way to put behind me everything that happened two years ago and move forward, knowing that in some small way, I might have protected another woman from going through what I did. Anyway, that background was needed, because Tuesday afternoon, I got a call asking me to present at a local city council meeting in regards to their upcoming vote on domestic violence-related issues.
Needless to say, I would have flown to the end of the earth in order to make this presentation.

All I did was tell my story. And, in light of other victims, mine doesn't even begin to compare to the tragedy that they've faced. I still have my life, my heart, and an unquenchable desire to live, love, laugh and fully experience everything life has to offer.

After my presentation, as I was walking to my car, a man stopped me in the parking lot. I could tell by the red rings around his eyes that he had been fighting tears, and he asked if he could shake my hand. He then told me, in a somwhat shaky voice, that he had almost lost his daughter to the hands of the man that she married, and he had lost his granddaughter. His two-year-old granddaughter had been the most innocent victims to a man who could not control his own rage. We spoke for a minute, and he asked if he could give me a hug.
I have never, in all of my life, been hugged like that. The pain radiated from him and I could feel his grief. It hurt my heart to feel that much heartache.
When he pulled away, he said, "Caitlin, thank you. Thank you for being able to tell your story and for fighting for the women who can't or won't. I want you to know that I'm fighting for you. I'm fighting for you and will do whatever I can to see the new legisltation pass." I cried. He cried. And somewhere, I realized that this is my calling. This feeling, the feeling of knowing that I made a difference--I don't want to let that go.

His name is Steven, and he's on the city council. If one person is in my corner because of what I have said, then I have done what I came to do.

Fight for change. Fight for those that don't have the strength or willpower to fight for themselves. Six months in jail and a $500 fine for someone that tried to kill another person is not sufficient. It is not acceptable. A relationship bred out of fear is not a relationship at all. It is a death trap. Help stop those that are repeat offenders by challenging your local legislation to pass harsher penalities for assailants. Most importantly, push for more resources for crisis teams and centers. The Lighthouse in Baldwin County is in dire need of more resources, more manpower, and more volunteers. Make a difference.

If anyone wants more information, I have a myriad of resources that I can send your way. Just send me a message, and I'll hook you up.

Much love...
...The Fruitcake

I remember the day they told me...

2007-07-11T18:29:00.000-05:00

....you're going to be a big sister!!

21 years later, my little sister is about to be a mom.

And now I have to ask myself...

Why...

Why do I have to watch my sister do the same things that I did, knowing that she's setting herself up for heartbreak, disappointment, and a broken heart? Why do I have to watch my sister, who, by all admissions, is near-genius in intellect, belittle herself and lower her standards? Why do I have to watch my sister, my beautiful, smart, caring, huge-hearted, funny, gorgeous, strong-willed sister throw her life away on people not worth her time?

I want to shake her, to make her see that her life isn't just about her anymore, but about the little girl that she's bringing into the world in just over 2.5 months. I want to protect her, to help her see that she IS all of the things that I said before, plus a gazillion and one other things on top of those.

I want her to see how good she has it, how much better it could be, and how much she has going for her. My mother has bent over backwards for that child, and she doesn't see any of it.

I want to protect my as-yet-unborn niece from the unhappiness that surrounds Amber and Jesse.

ARGH!!!

And yet, after 21 years, i KNOW that there's nothing that can get through to her stubborn head, that she's the only one that can figure things out, and that nothing in this world will change her mind once it's made up.

Blech. Being a big sister sucks some times :-)

I'd be better off on a soapbox

2007-06-22T18:31:00.000-05:00

I am so on my soapbox this afternoon.

THIS is what caused it.

The Hippocratic Oath is a rite of passage for most medical students. It reads as follows:

I swear by Apollo Physician and Asclepius and Hygieia and Panaceia and all the gods and goddesses, making them my witnesses, that I will fulfill according to my ability and judgment this oath and this covenant:

To hold him who has taught me this art as equal to my parents and to live my life in partnership with him, and if he is in need of money to give him a share of mine, and to regard his offspring as equal to my brothers in male lineage and to teach them this art - if they desire to learn it - without fee and covenant; to give a share of precepts and oral instruction and all the other learning to my sons and to the sons of him who has instructed me and to pupils who have signed the covenant and have taken an oath according to the medical law, but no one else.

I will apply dietetic measures for the benefit of the sick according to my ability and judgment; I will keep them from harm and injustice.

I will neither give a deadly drug to anybody who asked for it, nor will I make a suggestion to this effect. In purity and holiness I will guard my life and my art.

I will not use the knife, not even on sufferers from stone, but will withdraw in favor of such men as are engaged in this work.

Whatever houses I may visit, I will come for the benefit of the sick, remaining free of all intentional injustice, of all mischief and in particular of sexual relations with both female and male persons, be they free or slaves.

What I may see or hear in the course of the treatment or even outside of the treatment in regard to the life of men, which on no account one must spread abroad, I will keep to myself, holding such things shameful to be spoken about.

If I fulfill this oath and do not violate it, may it be granted to me to enjoy life and art, being honored with fame among all men for all time to come; if I transgress it and swear falsely, may the opposite of all this be my lot.

In other words: people who take the Hippocratic Oath state that they are willing to keep the health and well-being of the patient at the forefront of what they are doing.

Right. Which means that refusal to treat someone based on your personal religious beliefs, in turn potentially putting a patient in severe or life-threatening risk, is NOT in the best interest of the client.

The trauma associated with a rape is more than enough for any woman. But to be humilated at the doctor's office at the hands of a holier-than-thou doctor who won't prescribe the morning after pill (EC) is completely uncalled for. Or how about the woman who was told to GO HOME with an ECTOPIC pregnancy, which has ZERO chance of survival and EVERY chance of severely harmin the mother, and to come back when she had an infection or the fallopian tube had ruptured, because then the "morals" and "ethics" of the Catholic hospital could be assuaged. But to treat the ectopic pregnancy alone was to be contrued as an abortion. I'm sorry...what?? The "morals" and "ethics"? WHAT morals and ethics? By intentionally putting a woman in harms' way, by refusing to treat someone that is legitimately in need of care--that's a gross breach of "morals" and "ethics" in my book.

(Not to mention the Hippocratic oath...)

I'm not going to touch the abortion debate, because, though most people know where I stand on that particular issue, it's not what I'm on my soapbox about. Though I can preach and preach about it all day long, I can and do see both sides of the issue and can see where the line can be drawn.

But.

When it comes down to birth control...and I'm not referring to the still-somewhat-controversial EC, but your everyday "pill"...it is, in all 50 states, a legal and acceptable choice for a woman to make. I can understand that those from the Catholic persuasion choose not to take it. But regardless of your personal beliefs, a woman should never be denied access to contraceptives. Regardless of your own personal choices, a woman has the right to choose whether or not she wants to have children. (I know, this is on a very slippery slope toward the abortion talk. But...NO.) It is not your place, my place, or her doctor's place to decide her religious beliefs nor stand in judgment of her choices.

If your religious background and beliefs stands between you and your patient, you are in the wrong profession. If you cannot do what is obviously necessary, or if your religion won't allow you to treat a patient to the best of your ability, join a religious order. But don't endanger women, many of whom naively believe that they're getting the utmost in care and treatment, when in reality they're only getting half of the story.

What it essentially boils down to is, and I quote: It's okay to discriminate against someone, so long as it's for religious reasons.

Apparently, we've backslid so far that we're back to our witch-hunting, stake-burning Puritanical roots...and then some.

drink, drank, drunk

2007-06-19T15:51:00.001-05:00

This morning on the Today show, this story was mentioned.
A two second synopsis: should kids be allowed to drink at home under the supervision and guidance of their parents? Or should parents who let their kids drink be punished and possibly serve jail time?

I have a problem with the idea of parents being thrown in jail for doing what, in my opinion, is considered to be doing the right thing. If kids are going to drink anyway...and ask any high school student, and they'll mostly affirm that conclusion...wouldn't "being responsible"mean keeping them from drinking and driving? From putting themselves...and their friends...in potentially dangerous situations?

The current legislation regarding underage drinking is one of the most detrimental things we could do for today's kids. To go from a "zero tolerance" to "anything goes" is doing more harm than letting kids be accustomed to alcohol. To say that 21 is a magic age when kids are suddenly prepared to indulge in what, until this point, has been the 'forbidden fruit,' is irresponsible at best and dangerous at worst. Drinking and driving, date rape, and alcohol poisoning are only a few of the pitfalls.

It seems to make more sense to me to allow kids to be around alcohol, to drink with their parents, to not treat alcohol as some forbidden temptation, Anyone who has ever been told that they can't have something knows that that only serves to increase temptation. Have wine with dinner, champagne on holidays. Let kids drink in moderation under their parents' supervision. Don't treat alcohol as some forbidden that can't be touched until 21. If kids drink at their parent's home, take their keys, keep an eye on them, and know that they're not drinking and driving. If they're going to do it anyway...and they are...be smart about it.

Don't put parents trying to be responsible in jail. Put the irresponsible ones who let their kids drink and drive and hit someone in jail.

Closing a chapter

2007-05-11T18:34:00.000-05:00

Tuesday, May 15th, marks the final closing of a chapter in my life that I've been waiting, and waiting, and waiting to happen. Adam is finally going to trial. I met with the district attorney last week, and the justice system is finally working. It's been a long time coming and a long healing process, but this marks the final closure. Once the trial is over, I can officially close this chapter of my life and move forward. Yes, for those who have asked, I am testifying. After a lot of thought and a lot of soul-searching, it is what I have to do. I can only imagine the face of a daughter or a sister or a friend and imagining them going through what I went through. It may not protect many, but knowing that I could have protectd one person is enough of a call.

Thank you, thank you, thank you to those of you who have been absolutely amazing friends over the last year and a half. I could not have made it without you. You have been my rocks, my hope, and my lifeline. I love you guys :-)

This is a chapter I'm all too happy to leave behind, and I'm ready to move forward with my life without having to keep looking backwards. A new beginning, a new day, a new chapter in my life.

"Ain't nothing gonna break-a my stride, nobody gonna slow me down!"

ETA:
In the 15 mins or so since I posted this, I've gotten several messages from people who don't know what's going on or what happened. No, it wasn't rape. Blessed be, I don't have the emotional scars from that. Domestic violence is another demon entirely, one that I never saw coming. I encourage you to read my post from the one year anniversary here if you really want to know more.

the big cheese

2007-05-08T18:36:00.000-05:00

the big cheese

I have found the secret to success.

Okay, so it won't win you fortune and fame, and it won't help you get that cute guy's phone number, but in the grand scheme of things, it makes life that much fuller, that much richer, and that much more worth living.

Be friends with your parents.

Not such a novel idea, I know. But it astounded me how many people were amazed that my dad is my favorite party buddy. I spent the weekend rockin' Memphis with him, and I have more fun hanging out in bars and checking out whatever bands we can find than I would with anyone else. Jager shots, Blue Moon, Bud Light, Patron, some strange concoction that tasted slightly like a green Jolly Rancher, Taj Mahal, the Allman Brothers, North Mississippi Allstars, a whole lot of corn dogs, rain up to your eyeballs, losing the car, the Counting Crows, Barenaked Ladies, Guster, dancing til your feet hurt, and then dancing some more....sounds like a fantastic weekend. And it was.

And the best part was creating memories with my dad that I'll cherish for the rest of my life.

I guess it's safe to say that we're two peas in a pod in a lot of ways--music is music and makes the world a better place. There's nothing like an outdoor festival, sunshine and summertime. Neither of us can stand to live away from the water, and both of us would be happy with a bunch of oysters, crackers and cocktail sauce. Blue Moon is our beer of choice. Auburn is our team, and we'll cheer for Ole Miss only if they're not playing the orange and blue. Rock and the blues is our genres of choice. We really don't care what people think about us, and have a penchant for acting like retards just to irritate someone else...you know who you are if you've been targeted by said treatment :-)

I consider myself extremely blessed to be able to consider my dad both my father and my friend. I know I can count on him, more so than just about anyone else in my life, and I also know that where daddy is, a good time isn't too far behind.

Random Observations

2007-04-16T18:38:00.000-05:00

Random observations as observed by yours truly in the last 72 hours:

1. Rollling down what seemed like a perfectly innocent grassy hill on Saturday night will result in oddly shaped bruises come Monday morning.

2. The Krystals on Dauphin Street is only closed between 4:30 and 5 am, during which time they will not give you a sackful of Krystal burgers, no matter how nice you try to be.

3. I do not have a "quiet" button.

4. Rain creates puddles. Through which I will inevitably have to walk/drag my dress through.

5. Shoemaker and Ferry are the best dance partners ever. Especially when Shoe and I use tango arms like bowling balls and knock people out of the way. Thanks.

6. My friends do not understand the concept of "Caitlin has other plans that do not include us" and will repeatedly call...all night long...with increasing frequency...demanding (drunkenly) to know why I am not at {insert location here}.

7. I love my friends. And I am consciously trying to make an effort to see them more often, especially the Mobile folks.

8. Lindsey Abeln is dangerous with a camera.

9. The phrase, "Who is that blonde chick?" was in reference to me. Apparently.

10. Cassie has issues with stairs. Someone should keep this in mind come her wedding day.

11. Some things never change.

12. Some things change so much that you have to wonder what happened.

13. The squirrel patrol are still assholes.

14. Chinese food is an excellent cure for a hangover.

15. So is Waffle House.

16. Wardrobe malfunctions have the tendency to be hilarious.

17. "Bad Touch" by the Bloodhound Gang makes people go nuts.

18. Cheesy poofs are buy one, get one free at the Bruno's on Old Shell.

19. Never get a man to do what you cna do for yourself. Like fix a broken limo.

20. ...dance like no one is watching...especially on random pieces of furniture.

Beware the Ides of March

2007-03-15T18:40:00.000-05:00

Life is fleeting. You never know when someone you love may be taken from you and when you may never be able to again say "I love you." You never know when life can be taken from you and you'll never again be able to hug someone, to wish them a happy birthday, to look them in the eye and tell them that you're proud of them, to celebrate a holiday, to play football, to ride horses, to take the kids out on four-wheelers on Thanksgiving.

My cousin Cody was 21 years old. He was killed last night in Pensacola when his car flipped on Hwy 29 in Cantonment.

Eggs in a basket

2007-02-14T18:42:00.000-06:00

One of my favorite movie references of all time involves eggs.

More specifically, how a person likes his or her eggs cooked.

I had a friend in college. I loved her dearly (and still do), but it used to drive me batty to watch her and the men that she would date. If he liked working out, she became a gym freak. If he liked cars, suddenly she could rattle off statistics about the hottest racers on the market. If he liked to cook, she was suddenly absorbed in the Cooking Channel.

I knew that she hated to cook.

But because the man of the hour loved to piddle around the kitchen, she tried (in vain, I might add) to match up to what she believed that he wanted in a partner.

They broke up after four months.

My friend didn't know how she liked her eggs cooked. If he liked scrambled, she wanted scrambled. If he liked over easy, she was an over easy kind of girl. And if he preferred his in a basket, well…you know the rest.

She didn't even like eggs to begin with. But he never knew that, because she was trying so hard to impress and be the person that she thought he wanted that she missed the point altogether, being that he had originally liked her for who she was when she was true to herself, and not when she was pretending to be someone that she thought he wanted.

If you can't be yourself, which first and foremost involves knowing and loving yourself, what's the point? Differences in a relationship are the spice of life, and make for interesting conversation. Can you imagine how boring life (and relationships) would be if nobody added any variety?

And for the record, I'm over easy, with a side of hash browns.

V-Day

2007-02-05T18:45:00.000-06:00

Valentine's Day is on the brain for a lot of people--I personally choose not to take the holiday seriously, as I believe that I can tell someone I love them any day of the year, and I don't need a corporate-sponsored holiday to make someone feel special. (and for the record, if 2/14 is the only day out of the year that your significant other makes an effort at romance, maybe you should work on that....)

Day 6...Miss P has a good one. (Although I'm promised that tomorrow's is going to be a whopper.) I've had fun writing these blogs over the last several days, and would love to keep it up--my readers are my inspiration, so anytime you want me to write about something, someone, or whatever floats your boat, let me know. I

Now. After that little sidebar...
Long distance relationships. Yay or nay? Even though I've done them and it lasted for over a year, it wasn't easy. So if you meet a great guy or girl and he or she lives in another state? Do you try to make it work? Do you walk away?

My oh my. I sit on the fence on this one. BIG time. Can it work? Absolutely. Is it going to be easy? Absolutely not.

I don't know that it's necessarily based on the distance factor insomuch as that people don't want to take the time and effort to fully develop a relationship these days, and a relationship means having a rock-solid foundation of trust and open communication. If a couple takes the time to build that foundation, then they can withstand anything, distance included. Being apart the majority of the time takes a different level of commitment. Some people would argue that it's less commitment, because you don't spend as much time together. But in reality, it's as much or more of a commitment than for two people who live in the same town and can spend time together on a regular basis. You have to trust your partner to go out and be in social settings without you, and trust that the boundaries that you've set with one another will be respected.
Anyone who knows me for more than 5 minutes knows that I'm a believer in the magic of love, and with that comes the idea that there is one Mr. or Mrs. Right. (ok, ok--i know not everyone buys into that theory, but I do, so leave me alone :-) And who am I to say that I won't meet Mr. Right on a flight to Tokyo? Or on a cruise across the Atlantic? Or online? Or next door? He may live across the street, across the state, across the country, or across the globe. But if he truly is the right person for me, then all will work out as it should, and the distance issue will take care of itself.
Is it for everyone? No. I don't think some people are willing to take on the unique challenges that a long distance relationship entails. And some people aren't secure enough about themselves and their own position in a relationship to be able to handle the pressures of being apart. But I don't think that a person should be written off because of distance. Taking a chance is what makes life worth living.

breakin' the rules once i learn the game

2007-02-01T18:46:00.000-06:00

Miss P's thought for the day:

{I had a discussion with a guy friend of mine last night about Man Law--the whole elaborate system intrigued me. Supposedly, there is a system of rules that guys just...know. This made me wonder what rules we ladies labide by. What rules am I unknowingly breaking? For example: No dating your friend's ex without permission...what's the deal?}

If there are imaginary rules, I...apparently...live to break them. Mostly because I consider myself clueless when it comes to "playing the game." But, seeing as how I was in a sorority once upon a time, and certain rules--albeit unspoken most of the time--governed some of OUR actions, maybe I can expound. Perhaps not clearly, and certainly not with any authority, but who's counting?

Yeah, the dating of a friend's ex is a tricky area. My own rule...unless I know for certain that a friend is completely over someone, and for that matter, usually seeing someone else, I steer clear of it. In my opinion, it's just bad practice. When you cross that invisible line, you end up making enemies unknowingly, not to mention getting caught in a tangled web. Obviously, if the breakup was a harsh one and your friend is particularly vulnerable, you're only setting yourself up for disaster.

White shoes after Labor Day. I know. It's outdate, and some women say to screw the rule, but it's been ingrained in me since I was old enough to dress myself. My grandmother would roll over in her grave if she saw me wearing white shoes at Thanksgiving...

I know exactly who to thank for the next one: sitting down while smoking and/or drinking. And heaven forbid you do both at the same time. I break this rule all the time, but nevertheless, the etiquette-trained voice inside my head always reminds me that it's not "ladylike." (Which begs the question: What IS ladylike in this day and age?)

This one pisses me off: Don't talk about your sexual exploits...or, don't kiss and tell. And never reveal how many sexual partners you've had, whether it's 0 or 100. (I disagree. In the confines of a relationship, honesty and communication are the only grounds for success. It depends on the relationship, though. But I digress.) Granted, it depends on your personal views here, but this goes back to the last couple of days worth of postings and the double-standard that exists for men versus women.

Pillowcase openings should always face the same direction. Enough said.

You can't ask to borrow something if the person you're borrowing it from hasn't gotten to use said item yet. Generally, I'm referring to clothes and shoes and the like, but I'm stingy about books, too. If I haven't read it yet, get your hands off :-)

If you're riding in a car with a group of people, and the person who is driving has a significant other, and that particular significant other is riding in said car, that person trumps all calls of "shotgun." Bastards.

If I take a picture with my camera, and you say, "Oooh! Lemme see it!," you owe me a drink. And/or a pack of batteries. (If you carry batteries around with you on a regular basis (and not because you're a camera freak like me)--just as someone who likes to be all extra-prepared, I'd like to meet you and pick your brain.)

I'm having a hell of a hard time coming up with anything. This topic has given me a severe case of writer's fog. (it's not so much of a 'block" as it is a "haze") I'm going to
go ahead and post this, but I'll probably add more as the day goes on.

Readers...go for it. Happy Friday!

Hush little baby

2007-01-31T18:48:00.000-06:00

On with the show, then.

Why do people give women grief when she says that she doesn't want to have children?
(there's a long diatribe that my muse of the week followed up this statement with, but for reasons I can't explain, will not copy and paste. And I'm too lazy to write it out again...)

Touche, Penney. Touche. Magnifique.
I once fell into this category. I once believed that children were adorable, were cute, were a bunch of other choice words, but not for me. But times change, circumstances change, and my perceptions change.

Whether you want children or not, your body is wired to bear them. And success, in evolutionary terms, is defined by your ability to produce offspring and raise them to reproductive age. Throughout history, a woman's place has been to nurture, to bear children, to care for hearth and home. It was her responsibilty to bear children to carry on the family name, to help with the home, et cetera, et cetera, ad naseaum. And even though, by most people's standards, this is an outdated viewpoint, it is still so incredibly ingrained in our society that women who, in a sense, rebel against the norm, are looked at as some sort of freak.

I think today's culture has shifted to a more selfish universe, one in which children are viewed as a burden rather than a blessing. Granted, having children slows a person down considerably. But so much is experienced through the eyes of a child, so much joy and laughter that can only be experienced through being a parent. And I personally don't believe that any woman can truly and honestly say that she doesn't want children with a concrete and resolute finality. Women, whether we like it or not, are wired to reproduce. At some point, the sight of a stroller will make your heart flutter and the sight of a pregnant woman will have you dreaming in pink and blue. And you realize that you're not so adverse to the idea of having children after all. (I, of course, realize that this was a giant blanket statement ) Whether a woman chooses to act on this is a different question entirely. But it does beg the question regarding single women looking for sperm donors. If women could turn off the desire to reproduce, why are these women, most successful and professional, looking to have children without a partner? The desire to have children is a powerful one.

I don't know that it's so much about giving a woman grief for not wanting to have children as it is a lack of understanding. Women, especially women who already have children, can't see beyond the pale. It's a foreign concept, one that some cannot wrap their minds around.

Each person is entitled to his or her own choices in life, and so long as the choices we make are responsible ones (in dealing with the question of whether or not to have children, you have to question your own level of responsibility) and don't negatively affect others, the decision is ultimately ours to make.

Brave New World

2007-01-31T18:46:00.000-06:00

I knew she was going to pull this out of her hat before too long. Call it a hunch.
I know I'm going to set some people off. I know that this is a major debate. All I ask is that you respect my decisions and opinions as well as the decisions and opinions of anyone else who has the balls to comment on this one. You don't have to agree with me, you don't have to like me. But respect me.

{as written by Miss P}

Abortion- What side of the line are you on? Is the line gray? Whose choice is it? What if girl wants one and guy doesn't? Should it be unlawful for her to terminate in this case? What if pregnancy was from rape?

This is a majorly serious discussion topic today. Hopefully it doesn't get to violent of a debate. Let's all remember to respect the right for people to have their own opinions. I myself would never under any circumstances abort. However in the case of a rape I would have to seriously think about if adoption would be better for the child.

I have so many conflicting ideas on this topic. When describing myself, I'm staunchly pro-choice. I'm pro-choice because 25% of maternal deaths occur because of trying to get an illegal abortion. I'm pro-choice because a woman, in a desperate situation, is going to choose, regardless of whether the choice is legal and protected by the US government. I'm pro-choice because the question the government is asking isn't really about abortion, it's about the grey line between church and state, and about trying to scare women and girls into abstinence. I'm pro-choice because the I support the use of, and the education about, sex education, contraception, and the like, rather than naively believing that kids won't have sex if they're not taught about it in school. I'm pro-choice because the "pro-choice" movement supports the advancement of women, not just surrounding the topic of abortion, but in areas like prenatal care, insurance, well-baby visits, maternity leave, and women's health, whereas the pro-life movement only seeks to force someone else's theology on women. I'm pro-choice because a child should be given every opportunity in the world to succeed--being unwanted from day 1 is no way to start life. I'm pro-choice because I believe that my beliefs are exactly that...mine. The government has no grounds to decide my morals and values. The government has no grounds to decide if my decisions coincide with the religious right.

It astounds me that people think that by overturning Roe v Wade that abortions will disappear. People, are you really so naive? Again, women are going to choose. The question is whether or not she can choose safely. Women die from the horrors of back alley procedures. Did you know that in some Latin American countries, where abortions are nearly always illegal, that the black market abortion industry is one of the most lucrative?

Where do men come into the picture? Does a woman have a responsibility to tell a man that she's carrying his child and that she is...or has already...terminated the pregnancy? Absolutely. I'm a firm advocate for father's rights as well. Even though I have a lot of choice words relating to women's rights, there are so many men who are left out in the cold when their partner discovers that she's pregnant. A man has a right to know that he is the father, and in some sense has a right to have a say in the decision. It takes two to tango in the first place, after all.

Was someone watching House this week? Because the topic of rape was at the forefront. Anyway. In cases of rape, I again go back to what I was saying. A woman is going to choose. Will she remember the rape every time she looks at her child? Maybe. Maybe not. Can she live with what happened to her? Is she able to bring a child into the world in an emotionally frail state? Those questions are not mine to answer. But regardless, a woman should have the right to choose what to do with her body. She was violated and the choice to have a child was not one that she was prepared for. It wasn't even a risk that she was taking. It was a choice that was forced upon her. More than any other reason to choose, a victim of rape should have access to an abortion if she so chooses.

To see Roe v Wade overturned would be a crying shame and a step in the wrong direction. Children are a blessing, but are also a major responsibilty. Rather than decry the number of irresponsible people who have children born into poverty or into situations in which they can't be protected, allow the woman to be responsible. Allow a woman to choose.

A blog a day

2007-01-29T18:50:00.000-06:00

a blog a day...

Here's the idea.
The "other" blonde bombshell that lurks around my office says I need to write more. I (along with some help from a fellow sporatic blogger) argued that I ahve to feel moved to write--that I have to have something to talk about.

So.

The proposal: She'll give me a thought-provoking question every day for a week. And I'll write about it. Whatever the topic, no matter whether I have strong opinions or not. If it's successful, I think I might start polling y'all for more ideas.

Leave me comments to let me know you're reading with me, and let me know what you think.

I'll post number 1 later today.

Happy Monday :-)

2007-01-27T21:35:00.000-06:00

It's been a hot minute since I last said anything. So, without further ado, here goes nothing.

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sdklfjsldf

sdfkjsdklfj

That's about what my head feels like these days. I work my butt off, go home, rinse, repeat. Not a whole heck of a lot has changed. Well, some things have, but I'm not quite ready to broadcast it to the universe via xanga yet. Nia moved back to Montgomery, and Finger moved in. I love my house, but it's a wee bit different living with him. As in...my pantry is in alphabetical order. The house is (always) clean. The movies are arranged by title. Wait. The PANTRY is IN APHABETICAL order. Yes, my friends...I am living with an OCD organizer. I think, for April Fools Day, I'm going to rearrange his world...UN-alphabetize everything.

In other news, even though the Saints aren't playing in the Super Bowl....wow. I think hell froze over with that team this year.

I need a vacation. And a boat drink. And I don't have either one.

how much would could a woodchuck...oh, nevermind.

2007-01-24T10:56:00.000-06:00

Wood chips.

That was our famed GWB's alternative fuel recommendation.

Among solar, wind and water power, he also throws in...wood chips.

Although I 'm a proud driver of a VW Beetle, which so MANY people like to poke fun at (and hey, I completely understand. The wonderbubble does not hold it against you. I drive a yellow goldfish bowl...I get it.), I don't think even IT would run off of wood chips or its byproducts. And for that matter, does that mean that I have to fight off the squirrels when trying to fill up my gas tank? Or heat my house, for that matter?

Again I ask myself, "how did this buffoon get elected to office, not once, but twice?"

Not to mention he mentioned Palestan and Afghanestine when talking about the holy lands. Did I miss something in geography? Or did we add a couple of new countries to the middle east while I wasn't looking?

Wood chips. Look out, squirrels. You've got competition.

rainbow droppings

2007-01-22T14:17:00.000-06:00

I wrote this a while back, but the same subject was brought to light again when someone commented on the pin in my car. Tereasa gave it to me a while back, and it says "Rainbows make me happy." It's been hooked to my rearview mirror ever since. The other day, I drove a coworker home, and he commented on it and said, "Huh. Guess you swing on the other side of the fence." I started to get defensive, but instead I was only saddened because a symbol that used to mean cheerfulness, happiness, good luck and all sorts of other (happy) things now can only represent homosexuality. More on this in a minute.

But now...time for a story.

Up Til Dawn was an annual fundraiser for St. Judes, and the theme was cartoons. My DG sisters and I decided to use the Care Bears as our theme, replete with fuzzy ears and the little red hearts pinned to our pants. In addition, each of us picked our representative Bear, which we made into iron-on transfers for our t-shirts. Being that pink is one of my favorite colors and I am usually the optimistic one, I chose Cheer Bear-the one with the rainbow across its belly.

...thus begins the rainbow ordeal...

Since Up Til Dawn, the bears that we have chosen have become our mascots of sorts. I went to Wal-Mart in search of the Care Bear Cousins, in particular Playful Heart Monkey, for Tereasa. Upon which time I noticed that there were no Cheer Bears. Every other Care Bear, as well as Care Bear Cousin, as well as several newly invented Care Bears, were on display. All except the one sporting a rainbow. So I asked an employee. Who proceeded to inform me that Cheer Bear was only sold in sets containing other Care Bears, because of its inherant gay-pride symbol.

Hold up. As most of you already know, I have nothing against anyone with same-sex tendencies. I have no homophobia. (If I did, I would lose most of my friends). But I have issues with the idea of not selling a children's toy because of its "homosexual overtones" Excuse me? I seem to recall Kermit the Frog singing about rainbows. There was even an entire cartoon/toy theme devoted to rainbows (Rainbow Brite?).

Rainbows are a sign of hope, a sign of promise, a sign of good fortune, a sign of pushing forward until you find your pot of gold at the end. I have no problem with the gay/lesbian community using the aforementioned symbol. As a matter of fact, I find it fitting- cheerful, happy, encompassing all colors. But I do have a problem with anyone who now assumes, merely because I like rainbows, that I must be homosexual. So what have I done about this problem? Rather than hide my rainbows in the closet, I flaunt them. Rainbow bracelets? Got 'em. Rainbow Care Bear? Got it. I'll just keep on walking with my rainbow flip-flops. (Kudos, by the way, to Old Navy, who doesn't shy away from my favorite colorful signs of cheer, merely because someone might get the wrong idea...

I'll get off of the soapbox now.

Skittles, anyone?

by way of introduction...

2007-01-19T11:05:00.000-06:00

I believe in serendipity. I am a hopeless romantic. I am the eternal optimist. I would say I roll with the punches. I am a dog lover. I like rainy days. I am extremely laid back. I am a true Gemini. I entertain myself…and others in the process. I love a yellow hibiscus. I love orchids. I am pregnant with my first child. I have loved and lost, I have loved and lost again, and still I believe in the magic of love. I can do a nearly perfect impression of Woody Woodpecker’s laugh. I love the little things in life. I love Christmas lights. I love all holidays. I love to celebrate birthdays. I rarely get dressed up. I love feeling like a princess sometimes. I don’t think a part of me will ever grow up. I feel sorry for people who try to be someone that they’re not. I’ve never seen Star Wars. I have never seen an Indiana Jones movie. I have seen the Never ending Story so many times that I’m surprised the video will still play. I know every word to the movie Dirty Dancing. I will always have a fondness for rainbows. I love glitter. I still believe in Santa—and I always will. I know all of the words to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles intro—and Saved by the Bell, and the Fresh Prince. I have a degree in English, and no, I don’t teach and no, I’m not a lawyer. I have read more than I care to remember—it matters not if it’s a book, a magazine, or the back of the bottle of shampoo. I still believe in fairy tales. I like to be alone—it helps me think and clear my head. I am not as nice as some people think I am. I sometimes miss the point. I sometimes miss the boat altogether. i don’t really know what to consider myself—I’m part southern and part northern—the New Jersey comes out sometimes, the Alabama comes out sometimes. I hate being hot. I am an extreme liberal. I hate my toes. I was a band geek in high school. I have been published in four literary magazines. I love taking pictures. I love the beach—but not the sand. I would live on a boat if I could. I know how to jive. I have a unique style of dancing of my very own. I am an introvert. I am extremely shy—I’ve just developed coping mechanisms to deal with it. I believe that the best friendships are those in which you may only talk once a year but can pick up where you left off. I generally try to see the beauty in all things. I don’t believe that ignorance is an excuse for anything. I physically hurt when children are innocent victims. I am a survivor of domestic violence. I have volunteered to help those who can’t help themselves. I have secrets. I like to dance around my living room. I know the muffin man—lady, actually. I hate the color green. I won’t wear shoes that hurt my feet more than once. I wouldn’t wear shoes at all if I could get away with it. I think a genuine smile is one of the best gifts you can give or receive. I love snow. I hate crowds. I love to travel, but I love my own bed, too. I believe that home is somewhere that you can be accepted as you are and loved regardless of faults. I’m a daydream believer. I have been to—and walked barefoot on—Abbey Road. I hate hot dogs. I have an extreme weakness for French fries, popcorn and Sunkist. I have lost sixty pounds in a year’s time. I have two tattoos. At one point or another, I have had the following pierced: my ears, my cartilage, my tongue (three times), my nose, my eyebrow and my belly button. I only have my ears pierced now. I love the theater. I love the Phantom of the Opera, Carmen, and Les Miserables. I used to play the viola, the violin, the flute, and the piccolo. I tried to learn to play the guitar. I have feet that are two different sizes. I go by my middle name. I wish on shooting stars. I still own my ice skates, even if I haven’t been ice skating in nearly 10 years. I love garage sales. I hate antique rugs—blame my dad and uncle for that one. I thank God every day for my parents and how much they have given me.

purple people eaters

2007-01-18T18:44:00.000-06:00

Miss P writes:

And on the 7^th day he rested…I think NOT, Caitlin my dear! Today's topic: Evolution… ;)

It is the writer who might catch the imagination of young people, and plant a seed that will flower and come to fruition.

- Isaac Asimov

I saw this quote and thought I'd alter it for our fearless blogger…

It is the blogger who will catch the boredom of her favorite office workers, and mix and beat it down and bake that shit into a fabulous fruitcake.

- Penney Powell

Cait betta gets ta bakin'!

So come one and all fellow bored office workers and let us eat!!!

:-)

I love it. If only she knew how little my culinary skills have progressed. At least I can "cook" with words, because my baking skills are severely lacking!! (you know, I think i should learn to make a fruitcake. Then I could just, you know...hand them out at Christmas. A fruitcake from Fruitcake? No? Not funny? Whatever.)

Evolution...that's a can of worms. Once again, I'm at odds with so many on this one. But not necessarily for the reasons you might think.

I don't have any answers. I don't know which way to cast my lot--some would say that it condemns me to hell to consider anything other than creationism, that even questioning the idea that God created the world, Adam and Eve, Garden of Eden, Genesis-fishcakes. To question creationism, to listen to the reasoning of science means, to some, that I'm siding with Darwin, that the ability to question and reason and think things through and not blindly accept the religious right's propaganda...I am condemning myself to hell for even considering the idea that Darwin could be right.

I don't know. But I do know this. Why on EARTH would we choose to only educate our children on one side of the issue? Is that what we really want for the future? To only see one side of an arguement? To teach them that questioning and exploring the possiblities and making an informed and educated decision...on anything, not just about this particular topic...is the way to go? Do we want to hide the truth? Or possible truths?

I found this statement in reference to Evolution Sunday 2007 (which, incidentally, is this Sunday.)

We believe that the timeless truths of the Bible and the discoveries of modern science may comfortably coexist. We believe that the theory of evolution is a foundational scientific truth, one that has stood up to rigorous scrutiny and upon which much of human knowledge and achievement rests. To reject this truth or to treat it as "one theory among others" is to deliberately embrace scientific ignorance and transmit such ignorance to our children. We believe that among God's good gifts are human minds capable of critical thought and that the failure to fully employ this gift is a rejection of the will of our Creator. To argue that God's loving plan of salvation for humanity precludes the full employment of the God-given faculty of reason is to attempt to limit God, an act of hubris. We urge school board members to preserve the integrity of the science curriculum by affirming the teaching of the theory of evolution as a core component of human knowledge. We ask that science remain science and that religion remain religion, two very different, but complementary, forms of truth The Clergy Project

To reject science and research because of religious beliefs is to reject medicine, to reject technology, to reject moving forward. One of my favorite books of all time is Brave New World. Is it any surprise to anyone who has read the book that I firmly support seeing all sides of an issue, to open your eyes and your minds and learn, explore, dream, and experience? Freedom to choose how to live our lives and to make educated decisions--to question your own beliefs and why you believe the things you do...why would we want to take that away from schoolchildren? To turn them into mindless automatons who can't think for themselves.

Was there a "clockmaker" who wound up the earth and let it run its course? Did God create the world in a week? Did we evolve from sea anemones (ok, I just really like the word "anemone")? No one can answer that with certainty. That's a matter of faith. But to know that there are other beliefs and other ideas than your own...that is a doorway to understanding.

On a personal note, I've enjoyed this tete-a-tete with Miss P, and thanks so much to everyone who has read and commented. I'm sorry to see the week end! I'll keep writing more often if you'll send me stuff...otherwise, I'll write when something moves me. Like sea anemones.

Much love!

2006-12-25T21:36:00.000-06:00

...Family, friends, and folks I don't get to see nearly enough...

In case you forgot, I am the dreamer of dreams and the wisher of wishes. And of course, this is my favorite time of year, the time of year when wishes do come true and everything is tinged with a hint of magic. My three ideals in life—love, peace, and joy—are the foundation of the entire season.

May you and yours find peace and hope, love and laughter during this holiday season, no matter what holiday you choose to celebrate, whether you celebrate a holiday or not. Believe in the magic of Santa. Drink lots of eggnog, kiss a sweetheart under the mistletoe (even if that sweetheart is your 80 year old aunt), and dance around to the songs you know by heart. Call a friend you haven't talked to in a while and wish them a happy holiday. Get your picture taken with Santa—no, you're never too old to do it. Better yet, grab a friend and both of you do it. Read the Polar Express, and always strive to hear the Christmas bells. Play with a dreidel. And if you don't know what I'm talking about, learn. Make a gingerbread house, and know that I will always find the gumdrops that you try to hide from me. Wish for snow. Enjoy the smell of a Christmas tree. Eat too much and be thankful that you have plenty to eat. Start a new tradition and revel in the old ones. Play dirty Santa…and may you get the best number. Help put together the "some assembly required" presents and take the opportunity to create a lasting memory. Make snow angels. Decorate like Tim Allen and don't be afraid to short out the neighborhood. Wear fun holiday socks. Make candy. Go caroling. Take a stroll through Christmas lights with someone special. Visit your family. Remember that hugs and smiles can be one of the best gifts that you can give or receive. Go to a kids' Christmas play. Don't be a Scrooge. Watch the Charlie Brown Christmas movie. Surprise the unexpecting. Give of yourself.

After the stockings are hung and the Night Before Christmas read and the kids are asleep, remind yourself of the true meaning of Christmas. Smile to yourself and know that you are loved and remember those that you love.

This is my wish for you: Comfort on the hard days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the rain, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits are low, beauty in all that surrounds you, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, and love to fill your life.
All the best to you and yours,
Fruitcake